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Politics & Government

Japanese Space Explorer Arrives at Asteroid Ryugu

A satirical look at current events!

Japanese Space Explorer Arrives at Asteroid Ryugu: An unmanned Japanese space explorer has finally arrived at asteroid Ryugu on a journey to collect soil samples and then return back to Earth after traveling nearly four years and 170 million miles - just to get there.

OK - fine, but what I wanna know is - how is it that this spacecraft is able to send a picture-perfect signal back to Earth from over 170 million miles away, yet Spectrum can’t seem to keep a halfway decent connection to my damn TV set - even with a fiber-optic cable attached?

Anyway, my only hope is that this mission isn’t intercepted by a massive, gigantic, intergalactic, fire-breathing lizard who forcibly hijacks the probe - rides it all the way back to Japan, and then sets out to completely destroy Tokyo. Have any of these rocket science geniuses ever thought about that? I seriously doubt it!

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