Politics & Government
Massive Malware Attack Disables Millions of Computers Worldwide
A satirical look at current events!
Massive Malware Attack Disables Millions of Computers Worldwide: Hackers have unleashed a devastating global malware attack, based upon a software flaw that once was part of the US National Security Agency’s (NSA) surveillance tool kit, to disable millions of computers in over a hundred countries, snarling operations at the Russian Interior Ministry, Spanish telecommunications giant Telefónica and Britain’s National Health Service (NHS), where hospitals were hobbled and medical procedures interrupted.
All I can say is, its a damn good thing President Trump had the foresight to appoint Rudy Giuliani to monitor US cyber security a couple of months ago…he certainly seems to be up to that task and attacks like this will become basically nonexistent now that he’s on the job.
In the meantime, aides promise the President does plan to address the issue, just as soon as he’s finished tweeting about Stephen Colbert and Rosie O’Donnell. Anonymous sources within the White House also report the President became furious after logging into his own personal computer and getting an error message reading “your brain has been hacked and appears to be running some very mentally catastrophic malware!” He demanded to know why he can’t just fire the malware like he used to do with contestants on “Celebrity Apprentice.”
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In a strong show of determination, Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway, appearing on CNN, promised that someone will be held responsible for this cyber attack - be it the Girl Scouts, the LGBT community or illegal immigrants and their children, we’re gonna hold someone responsible. Meanwhile, until the issue is resolved, White House IT security technicians are recommending computer users hang a string of garlic cloves over their computer screens - just to be on the safe side!
Now, an almost unimaginable scenario has arisen, and that is what would happen to millennials if their computers, tablets and smartphones become infected and they lose access to texting and all social media? An almost unfathomable consequence could arise, they may be forced to end up speaking to one another face-to-face. Oh - the horror!
