Putin Lays Claim to the North Pole: President Vladimir Putin is petitioning the United Nations for exclusive control over 463,000 square miles of the Arctic Ocean, which also includes a good portion of the North Pole.
Makes you wonder why Putin would want the North Pole. I mean, isn’t Siberia cold enough for him? The frightening thing is, if he is successful, Russia will instantly be in control of much of the raw materials needed to make snowballs.
And while some experts are warning of Russian encroachment, others say Santa Claus would never sell - pointing out that the only way will ever get control of the North Pole would be if Hell freezes over. And polar bears be like…will we have to learn Russian like the brown bears?
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Besides, Putin Claus just doesn’t have much of a ring to it. Just ask yourself, how believable is Putin gonna be in a Santa suit? And who the hell would want Vladimir Putin climbing down their chimney? It sounds to me like Putin may be in line for a big lump of coal this Christmas - especially if Russian oil reserves run out. And of course the big question is, does this mean we’ll all be getting vodka for Christmas?
