Politics & Government
Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip
A satirical look at current events!
Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip: Scientists say the Earth’s magnetic poles appear to be ready to flip for the first time in 780,000 years, which could allow in lethal levels of radiation and cause a cascading mass blackout of the power grid - ultimately rendering areas of the planet uninhabitable.
Good grief, if the Earth’s magnetic fields do get reversed, does that mean we’ll all need to retrain our toilets? I’m just asking for a friend. And will the Earth actually flip, or will it flop? Before you laugh all this off as complete nonsense, wasn’t this the same message they gave the inhabitants of Krypton? Think about that my friend. I mean, if you think your GPS gets you lost now…
One thing’s for sure, if the Earth does flip - Trump will claim credit for it. Either that, or if it doesn’t work out so well, he’ll blame it on the Mexicans. I mean, he’s already begun telling supporters that “true north was nothing but a big fat lie.” Personally, I think there’s pretty good evidence that Trump may have already flipped. On a positive note, in an attempt to offset any possible polarity reversals, politicians in Washington have already begun talking backwards.
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But thinking about how parts the Earth may eventually become uninhabitable, makes me realize that communities like Cleveland were actually way ahead of their time. I’m from that area originally, and it kind of makes me proud. That said, there are, of course, gonna be some negatives - like we’d all better get used to the idea of walking on our ceilings. And needing to use a mirror to read our compasses. And of course, Kim and Kayne will inevitably have to rename their first child which they called North West.
And while I’m no scientist, I think this whole mess could be easily avoided. I mean, if the Earth is really bipolar - why not just send it to a therapist or give it some lithium before its too late? Isn’t it time we start thinking about just what the hell is Keith Richards supposed to do after everyone else is gone from the face of the Earth?
