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Politics & Government

Trump Chooses Fast-Food CEO Puzder for Labor Secretary

A satirical look at current events!

Trump Chooses Fast-Food CEO Puzder for Labor Secretary: President-elect Donald Trump has chosen fast-food executive Andrew Puzder to be the nation’s next labor secretary, tasked with enforcing workplace safety and wage laws on behalf of U.S. workers.

Guess it takes a really astute businessman like Donald Trump to realize how sick and tired most Americans are with of all those burdensome child labor laws and 8-hour days. Of course, when they repeal all of our healthcare and labor laws, it might not be such great of an idea to be sick and tired - but I digress.

Future Labor Secretary Puzder points out that if we don’t do away with all the rules regarding overtime and minimum wages, impoverished workers could lose the very jobs who’s extremely low wages and meager benefits all but assure that they’ll continue living in abject poverty.

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So let’s see - we’re now gonna have an opponent of organized labor running the Department of Labor, a man who hates the idea of environmental protection in charge of EPA, a billionaire who’s bank made a fortune squeezing people on foreclosures in charge of the Treasury and, to top it all off, someone who hates the idea of public schools at the helm of the Department of Education.

Now I’m the first to admit that I’m no public policy wonk, but I don’t think even Putin or Kim Jong-un could have imagined being able to pull that one off.

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