A Cry for Help - Susan's Story

Early this month I had an editorial about helping the homeless published in the Marin Voice section of the Marin Independent Journal. After reading the editorial an elderly woman named Susan called me to see if maybe I could help her. Susan will be turning 70 this year. Up until about six weeks ago she was living in her car in San Rafael, however that was impounded with all her worldly possessions and she no longer has shelter. Losing her car was a truly devastating blow. Up until a few days ago five nights a week Susan was sleeping in the front seat of a friend’s truck, which wasn’t so bad she told me. Shelter the other two nights was uncertain. The truck she was sleeping in is no longer available, and now Susan is completely without a place to sleep.

The worst news is that Susan has breast cancer which she is not treating it beyond initial radiation and she’s just trying to eat healthier. She really doesn’t know how much longer she has, she may not see 2015 and Susan has lost a considerable amount of weight, although she still has a lot of spunk and presents herself well. Susan used to work for an oncologist, and feels like maybe dying is her best option now. Call it the path of least resistance.

I asked Susan about family because sometimes family can be helpful in these situations. According to her she’s got an estranged brother on the other side of the country, and reuniting with him is not something that’s going to happen. Susan has a daughter, and in 1997 together they helped Susan’s own mother pass. Susan is actively bleeding and should undergo additional radiation treatment if not surgery but she is resistant and now it seems it may be her turn to pass. Contacting her daughter with this news, seeking her assistance and putting her situation on her daughter is not something Susan is up to doing.

Susan was referred to a nursing home after the initial radiation treatment to give her someplace to stay, however she left after three days because she didn’t like it. She called it the ‘worst’ nursing home option and she felt trapped in a bad situation: not all nursing homes are great places, even here in Marin. So going back to a nursing home doesn’t seem like an option. Unfortunately living in a shelter is out as well, it’s not something Susan is open to doing.

Susan doesn’t drink or do drugs. She told me that she has never suffered from any mental illness and is not on medication, although she has been committed to the hospital by the San Rafael Care Team claiming she was 5150. “That’s what they do,” she told me. When you won’t admit yourself to the hospital they need to hit you with the 5150 to get you admitted. Now she feels like she needs to dodge the Care Team because she doesn’t want to be committed again. She also believes the Care Team instigated the impounding of her car, believing she would be better off in a nursing home. She might have been too, if she was open to that option.   

Susan eats at Saint Vincent’s, but she prefers the healthier option of Whole Foods. The money she gets from the government that just doesn’t go far enough though and she could use some financial assistance. Susan has volunteered at the Ritter Center in the past and she has spoken to a case manager there regarding her options. She was hoping maybe I could do something for her, and I suggested that I write this blog to get her story out.

In subsequent conversations with Susan we talked about living at Homeward Bound in Novato. She shot down the idea among other reasons because it was too far from San Rafael, where she feels like she lives her life. Susan really doesn’t want to be there, but what are her options? She could probably afford a $300/month room, if such a room existed. She could house sit for someone, or possibly even be a care giver until her own health completely gives out. If she had enough money maybe Susan could live in a motel room in San Rafael?

Susan would really like to live out of a car again, preferably a Volvo. The problem is that a Volvo is not meant for human habitation. Even if we could raise enough money to get her a Volvo, there would still be the matter of getting it registered and she had tickets on her last car that might follow her. The problem with tickets is that they escalate when not paid, and her tickets were over $2000. So we are talking about a substantial amount of money needed to get Susan legally behind the wheel of her own vehicle which really wouldn’t be solving her homeless debacle. Money towards a car might be better used in getting her an actual room somewhere.

What Susan probably needs most is someone to care about and take an active interest in helping her. Someone to confide in, who can help guide her during this most difficult phase at the end of her life and help her make the right choices, maybe get her to open up to some options. Perhaps that person could help put her back in touch with her daughter, and possibly even help her restore her will to survive.  

If you’d like to help Susan please contact me at andy@bradleyrealestate.com