Oh, The Stress of High School!

High school is stressful. This week is especially stressful. 

Along with editing, writing, and managing my newspaper class for the next couple weeks, I have my subject SAT test on Saturday and an AP test on Monday. 

Sometimes, I feel like the life of an adult is so much more relaxed. Adults don't have to do homework, take tests, maintain grades, or attempt to fit into a society of narrow minded, judgemental, and sometimes ignorant, teenagers.   

Then again, they did go through their fair share of school. The time that I have yet to encounter. To be honest, I am excited. 

College seems like a place that I would enjoy. Sure, I will miss my family and friends like no other, but I think the distance is healthy. I will learn to fend for myself and handle situations maturely.

My plans after high school is something I think about very often. I am constantly doubting myself, fearing the application process to 12 different schools and receiving 11 rejection letters back, with one waitlist, in return. Not knowing what is in store for me is scary. 

Last weekend, I was talking to my mom about college and the uncertainty I have about being accepted to a decent university. I told her that it was tough meeting the expectations she might have after my older sister went to UC San Diego, and later moved on to Columbia University. The pressure was getting to me, and it wasn't good. 

To my surprise, my mom didn't say anything. Instead, she pulled out a book that she got from some conference at work. Taming Your Gremlin, it was called, and had a hand-drawn picture of a green monster with a devilish smile on its face. 

After skimming through the first few pages, I was officially confused. My mom explained to me that everyone has their own little gremlin in their mind. The sole goal of your gremlin is to put you down, make you feel worthless and unable. Apparently, this "gremlin" plays with your mind and emotions, and they only way to stop it is to believe in yourself and shut him out. 

I know this whole gremlin thing may sound absurd, but trust me, it works. It can't be that crazy if an entire book was written about it, right? I don't know what it is, but every time I think that I'm not good enough, I shut that voice up in my head and keep moving forward. Now, I am truly proud of who I am, and am loving it.  

Yes, this week has been tough, and next week will only get more busy. But as the last part of the school year approaches, I feel rejuvenated, and ready to power through. I know I can get through it successfully, and that thought is driving my every action and reaction.

I can't wait until the last bell on June 9th. It's smooth sailing from there on out!