'Now, My Life Is Half What It Used To Be': Sister Pens Heartbreaking Note About Brother's Overdose Death

The heroin and opioid crisis continues to ravage the country and the state of Connecticut. On average, three people die a day in Connecticut from drug overdoses, many of them young. One of those people was 20-year-old Nick Kruczek of Guilford, who died of a drug overdose in 2013.

His mom, Sue, has become one of the state’s leading spokespeople on the drug crisis, telling her story of Nick’s addiction and the warning signs families should look for to thousands of people across Connecticut the past few years.

But Nick’s loss has impacted the entire Kruczek family, including his sister Haley, who was just 9 years old when Nick died.

Recently she sat down, and in her own words, described the pain and loss she still feels daily – and she also implores those suffering from the ravages of drug addiction, and their families, to get the help they need before it is too late.

Below is her story.

Life Missing Half Your Heart

All I have left now are memories. Memories when my other half was still around. Memories of walking through my front door and always getting a warm, heart-filled welcome, and receiving a plentiful supply of hugs from my best friend; my older brother.

But now I am left with vague recollections and a few flashbacks of him. Everyday I came home to his open arms, or other times holding a wii controller, he was always grinning ear to ear as if it was Christmas.

There were days when we would play Mario Cart on our Wii for hours. Nick would always let me be Princess Daisy and he would always be Princess Peach. Whenever I asked why he was a girl he always responded with “because she reminds me of you: pretty, kind and a princess.”

I will never be able to repay him for filling me with confidence by calling me Pretties, Princess, or by making sure night and day that I was always happy. Nick would always put anything aside to play with me whether it was playing with my barbies, hockey, or video games, he didn’t care as long as it put a smile on my face. On Nick’s birthday, he would put me and my little brother, Teagan on his lap and allow us help him blow out the cake. Nick made nothing be about him, he dedicated his life to making others happy.

See related: CT Mom Pens Heartbreaking Note About Losing Her Son to Drug Overdose

But everything ended on October 10, 2013. A day I will never forget. A day that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I was walking through the doors of my house when I heard my parents sob “Haley, Teagan can you come in here.” Right away I knew something was wrong and was hesitant to enter the room. At first I thought I was in trouble for something but I had no clue what. But then I saw my parents. Their faces filled with grief and horror. I began to cry without even knowing what it was for I knew that it would change my life forever.

When my little brother; Teagan and I entered the room we were told to sit down next to them. Our mom struggled to inform us that Nick had died that day but once she did a heavy rain cloud flooded my heart and my eyes. After what felt like an eternity of weeping I managed to ask how he died. My parents lied saying that he died from having so big of a heart that it couldn’t function correctly instead of telling us the cold truth.

After everyone left the room to leave me to think, I spent an hour watching the driveway, hoping that my brother would return. I did that everyday for nearly a year and eventually realized that I would never see my hero again.

I was out of school for 3 weeks and when I finally arrived back to school I was handed an “I’m sorry” card that the whole grade signed and all I could think was “Great. Everyone knows.” But I was also thinking “Don’t cry, Haley. Don’t let them see you upset.”

I distinctly remember laughing from the pressure that I put on myself while everyone was staring at me reading the card. Everyone else in the class started laughing nervously, probably thinking that I had gone crazy. After reading the card I asked to use the bathroom. In the bathroom I remember checking to make sure that no one was there and when there wasn’t I let out everything.

I was and will forever be an emotional wreck. Anything that upsets me, even something small like seeing a wooden box, like the one Nick’s ashes lay in, will make me cry like crazy because my thoughts will go through everything bad that upset me especially the death of my best friend, my hero, my brother, my confidence. Now I walk the halls fidgeting my hands through shyness and speaking to people is a struggle. It takes half the year for me to be able to say “Hi” to my teacher or classmates without staring at my feet and my fingers twiddling.

Nick took drugs.

It all started during a hockey game when Nick was extremely nervous about the game. On the bench one of his teammates handed him a pill saying “Take this; it will make you feel better.” But unknowingly Nick took that one tiny pill which led to heroin, the drug that killed my brother.

Drugs always kill the person taking them if they continue using. If you don’t today then it will be sometime in the near future if you don’t get sober. You can get sober by going to a sober house or by asking someone like my mom, Sue Kruczek, to speak in front of your town. This is a very effective way to motivate drug addicts to stop injecting death into their bodies.

If you know anyone you care about that does drugs, no matter what kind, you need to tell someone and get them help. I wish I had been able to help my brother sooner. Now, my life is half what it used to be, and drugs are to blame. Please, help save the people you love and let's end drug use together.

Written by:

Haley N. Kruczek

Age 13

Submitted photos and compiled by Patch correspondent Jack Kramer