I can see it on the horizon. Usually, this is the time where I remind all of my family and friends it’s coming. Avery starts talking about it. It’s a monumental occasion. It’s almost my birthday.
Seriously, it’s not that big of a deal, but I used to make it a HUGE one. I have always loved birthdays. I think it’s a great celebration of you and a proverbial high five for making it another year. I still feel this way, I just don’t make it such a big thing anymore. For no reason in particular, but ever since I had children, that need to have it all about me (even if for one day) has disappeared- in a good way.
This year, I find myself very reflective. I am not sure what happened, but I have started seeing things the way that feels more normal and right then ever before. Not to be too cliche, but I can see things more clearly. I’ve never been more myself than I am right now.
This past year has been crazy, scary, beautiful and fun.
In June of last year, I was in a job that I couldn’t wait to get out of. Just going to work everyday was a struggle. It was affecting my personality, my relationships and my family. By August, that was thing of the past and what a great decision that was. I have grown so much career-wise- personally too- in the last year and have never regretted making the change.
I have challenged myself by stepping out of my comfort zone just to see if I could do it. It took me a while to put my toe in the water, but when I did, it was amazing!
This past year has also marked my journey to get back to me. I started this blog. I started reading on a regular basis again. I started exercising again. I started taking care of myself again and lost over 20 lbs of “baggage”.
I have watched my babies form a bond that I am lucky to know by having a sibling. Avery comforts and cares for Jordan the way my sister always did for me. She still does. They make each other laugh, they make each other cry, they love each other unconditionally. To see in them what I have with Kristen, and what I couldn’t be more grateful for, makes me happy beyond words.
I will be 34 very soon and I look back in amazement as to how much can change in one year. It can be good, bad, ugly and everything in between, but it is never guaranteed and it’s all part of a larger lesson. I have spent many years of my life focused on the wrong things. I still find myself slipping into that realm every so often, but am now aware enough to yank myself back out immediately.
In this next year, I challenge every one of you to look at things with a different perspective. If you don’t like your situation, do your best to change it. Only you have that power. If you have meaningful connections and relationships, nurture them. If something is broken, but it can’t be fixed, accept it. If you feel like something is missing, take the journey to find it.
I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite songs:
“Hear ‘em singing Happy Birthday/Better think about the wish I made
This year gone by ain’t been a piece of cake/Every day’s a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone/Just one more candle and a trip around the sun”- Trip Around the Sun, Martina McBride feat. Jimmy Buffet
