Walking West Hartford: I'm All Set

Every region has its unique expressions and particular phrasings. In New England, one such phrase is: “I’m all set.” While language is often a sea of ambiguity, this particular saying is as slippery as an eel. It has lead to awkwardness, confusion, and worst of all, over-tipping. 

I don’t want to say I’m a cheapskate. I let my wife say that. But I do tend to always be in the 15 to 20 percent range. I’m all about fairness. For drinks, as we all know, it’s a little different. The standard seems to be one dollar if a bartender brings over a beer. 

Where it gets confusing is when you order two drinks. Do you tip two dollars? That would mean that the dollar is in relation to the drink, not the actual act (bringing the drinks). See, you should never take a hyper-analytical person out to dinner. They’re no fun. Leave them at home with their books. 

The point is that I’m not a Big Tipper. As pathetic as it sounds, I’m still bitter about a $8 tip I accidentally left on a $12 bill a few weeks ago at Brio Tuscan Grille. Did I suddenly alter my personality to become a Big Tipper only to regret it the next morning? Of course not, I am as constant as the Northern Star. Instead, I made the tragic mistake of relying on our New England verbal knee-jerk. I used the king of confusion, the “I’m all set.” 

The situation seemed simple enough. My wife and I were waiting for our table and decided to get a quick drink at the bar. We ordered two drinks for a total of $12. Ten minutes later the perfectly-pleasant bartender, looking at our now-empty glasses, asked, “Are you good?” I replied that “we’re all set,” and proceeded to hand her a $20 bill. Mistaking me for a Big Tipper, she took the “all set” to mean “We’re all set here. Keep the change.” 

I wouldn’t even classify this as an honest mistake because the bartender didn’t make any mistake. I made the mistake of using a phrase that has multiple meanings. I didn’t have the heart to tell the bartender, after she assumed an $8 tip, that I am in fact not that generous. I was tempted to send my wife do the dirty work but decided, upon considering proper social etiquette, that I was all set.