Summer has officially begun. School is out. And the words, “I’m bored, there’s nothing to do!” echo throughout homes around the country. This would always happen at the beach, just when I opened a book. One of our sons was visiting this weekend, and even in his 20’s, I heard the same words! And, like many parents, I felt guilty that I was doing something other than playing with him.
Sound familiar?
I always felt badly when our kids were bored. Often, I would stop what I was doing, and find things to entertain them. What did that do for them? I thought it was keeping them happy. Until we stopped playing the game, and I heard the familiar, “I’m bored!” again.
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It was actually teaching them to rely on others to keep busy. They were not learning how to be by themselves, and self soothe. There are many times in our lives when we will not have others to “play” with, so learning how to be comfortable when we are alone is a good skill to learn.
What can we do differently to help our children?
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· We can ask, “What can you do by yourself that’s fun?”
· We can give them choices, “Would you like to read a book or color?” And when they say they don’t want to do either, you can say, “Those are the choices I can think of. What can you come up with?”
· Put together a “play alone” basket with your child, so they have a place to go for things they can do by themselves.
· Set aside “special time” when you can play with your child. Then, when they say ask you to play, you can say, “I can’t now. I’m really looking forward to our 20 minutes of play time later today!”
What are we teaching our children by doing things a bit differently? To be self-reliant. How to be okay when alone. How to self soothe. How to problem solve. Probably all good skills to have for life!
Want to learn more about Parenting the Positive Discipline Way? Visit www.positivedisciplinect.org.
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