Wanting our children to succeed so much

By Carol Dores

We all do so much for our children, in the “name of love”. We want their lives to be perfect, filled with laughter, love and happiness. We give them everything we can.

We want them to get in to the best colleges, so we push hard for them to do well in school. Sometimes, we do their homework with them (for them?), so we know it’s done well. We sign them up for lots of activities and sports, because that’s what many of us think makes their children happy.

I know. I was one of those parents, driving all over for activities, games and competitions. Going to Michael’s for art supplies at 7 PM for a project due in the morning, and helping to cut or glue things in place.

We stressed good grades, which resulted in making our children stressed out over good grades. We drove forgotten homework to school. Looking back, school work was partially a shared responsibility between us and our children.

What happens when we do things for our children that they are capable of doing themselves? They may be getting the message that we don’t think they are capable.

What happens when we schedule so much in to their lives? We may not have time as a family to connect and continue to build our relationship with our children and as a family.

What happens when we rescue our kids from not planning for a project, or forgetting their homework? They don’t learn from their mistakes, and continue to make the same ones over and over again. And, they aren’t learning important life skills like planning their time and being responsible.

What happens when we give them everything and do everything for them? They grow up feeling entitled or spoiled. Nothing is ever good enough. And they may lack motivation.

So for the betterment of our children, let them make mistakes and learn from them. Make family time a priority. Take time to teach them how to do things themselves, and then let go. When they eventually move out of the house, we want them to be able to be self-sufficient. Letting them learn as they grow is a gift to all of you.

Want to learn more about helping your children build their capabilities and other life skills? Visit www.positivedisciplinect.org.

Want to be added to our email list to receive tips & tools, class updates, and more? Click here http://eepurl.com/8eOZj

#positivediscipline #resiliency #mistakes #lettinggo #entitled