Summer Futbol! What Could Be Better?

Soccer… Really?  REALLY!

This post will likely have a short shelf life so let me get it out.  I am soooo into this World Cup thing.  American’s love our football and our baseball and basketball.  Good for us.  We also like hockey, but …. Eh?  Actually, eh about the basketball too.  But I’m getting off point.   World Cup soccer is so damn cool I challenge anyone with a patriotic heart to not be in rapture pulling for their national team.  These guys represent their home country and they are fighting a battle on flat grass against another country.  This is a world domination sport and we get to watch it in HD.

First, let’s talk about the game itself.  It’s fast and low scoring and it’s very hard to appreciate the strategy.  But thanks to the magic of slow motion replay we see frequently the absolute majesty of the skills these players bring.  From far away, a missed goal may look like a non- event.  When you see it up close and slower…. Crap!  That was magical.  These guys can do with their feet what magicians do with their hands.  It’s called the Beautiful Game for a reason… there is such talent on the pitch that most of us Americans don’t appreciate it until the last match and then…. We’re back to the NFL…. What a letdown.

Soccer is sexy.  Modestly clothed athletes in perfect shape sweating just for the ladies.  Football players and hockey players are certainly fit, too, but they’re hard to see under all that gear.  Baseball players wear pajamas and spit.  Basketball players are so tall they make their dates feel self conscious.  Soccer players bring it.  I understand many women watch alone.  And the wives and girl friends are not PTA material, these are the hottest of the hot and they complement their ‘man’ like a Prada suit.  Soccer couples are not like other sports couples.  Maybe it’s the Latin blood flowing through the veins of the superstars, but these men and their wives and girlfriends make the Beautiful Game appear as a temporary interruption in their life of passion.

Like many Americans I listen to talk radio when I’m in the car.  And of course, that means conservative talk radio ‘cause that’s all there is.  This week, Ann Coulter wrote a column for some right wing rag that the big mouths on the radio jumped all over.  She, and the men and women explaining her rant, appeared to hate World Cup soccer and soccer in general as un-American and slow and boring.  Sadly, the Neanderthal listeners could not wait to get on the microphone and parrot the objections.  What folly.  Honestly, this crowd tried to make this into some sort of international showdown between football loving Americans and futbol loving …. Everybody else.  How fortunate are we to have numerous professional and college sports played at a level that can hardly be described.  But don’t get all nationalistic on us and tell me that Brazil’s love for soccer is misplaced.  Oh, my friend, it is well and perfectly placed.  Ms. Coulter, who I sorta like to be honest, said that not a single American whose great grandfather was born in this country was watching World Cup soccer.  Uh…. What about me?  I’m a student of media and popular culture.  I recognize a grab at the bandwagon when I see it.  Even if it’s the opposite view that makes the press.

Soccer will likely not replace America’s big sports any time soon.  And watching Atlanta play Buffalo in soccer is not likely to take me away from my nap.  But I could be wrong.  Until we know, we have the World Cup.  And recently America has been so cool and good and inspiring that I cannot wait for the next match.  Bring it boys… USA….. USA…