Getting on the same page financial with your spouse is a must. You are not only saving your marriage when you are setting an example for your children. Before I continue, let me make it clear – I am a marriage counselor; not a financial expert or a trained financial adviser. However, I can tell you most marriage problems are caused by a financial component or have a financial component
So, what can a couple do to get financially united?
Here are 5 tips that have helped my marriage.
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Do a budget – A budget is not a list of bills you pay. A budget is the amount of income you and your spouse bring in your household and both of you decided how every dollar should be allocated. I hate to compare money to human beings, but if you do not make your money behave. They will be out of control. Once you sit down with your spouse and do a written budget, you have the freedom to know how much is going to tithes, bills, grocery, debts, saving, etc. Without a budget, you will work and wonder where did the check go? If you are the spouse who hate budgeting, (that was me) please participate and give your input. Don’t just agree to get out of the budget meeting. Think about it. You are leaving your spouse all alone. Two are better than one because your input is essential.
Spend less than you make – This is where the budget is your best friend. If it is not on the budget, don’t spend it. When you did the budget, you and your spouse agree what you would spend. Consequently, if you do not stick to the budget, you nullify the whole process. I can tell you. If you agree on what you will spend and you stick to it. Every time you respect that budget, you reinforce trust and respect. Every time you violate that budget without talking to your spouse, you are committing financial infidelity. Once or twice, you might think it is okay. But it is not. You are creating a pattern. Trust me, I know couples who started small but ended up with secret accounts and credits cards. Just don’t go there.
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Pay debts – Many married couples are enslaved by debts. If you have to borrow to buy it, you cannot afford it in the first place. There is no good debt. I can tell I even believed in the lie that student loans were good debts. Looking back, if I have stayed out of the mall, I probably could have paid cash for the portion that was covered by scholarships. I cannot change the past. I have control of what I do now. Pay the debt. Do not keep debts around. Debts restrict you. Get rid of debts and get rid of things that make you go in debts.
Yes, the credit cards. I know there are a lot of opinions about this, but get rid of them. If you do not have a credit card, consider it a blessing. Trust me; credit cards can be a curse to your marriage.
Save - Saving is for a raining day. I pray you never experience a financial hard time, but life happens. You might experience a financial difficulty in your marriage. If you have something save, you can weather the storm without arguing with your spouse about “we should have had a saving account”
A saving is not for shopping for gadgets or the latest handbag. A saving is accessible for emergency. Communicate with your spouse and agree on an amount that fit your household. Communicate about the definition of emergency. Make decisions together about the use of the saving.
Invest – If saving is for a raining day, investing is for a day of blessing. Investing is the opportunity for you to bless your household, and others. Imagine if you and your spouse can leave something for your children, your children’s children or your community.
These 5 steps have helped my marriage. We are steward of the money that God entrusted to us. The money can be a blessing when we managed it well or it can a curse to the only relationship we are called to stay until death do us part. The decision is yours.
Resources:
A plan to financial unity
http://www.daveramsey.com/media/pdf/fpu_babysteps.pdf
A budget explanation
http://www.daveramsey.com/media/broadcast/mytmmo/pdf/guide-to-budgeting.pdf
A budget
Question: What tips are you using to stay financially united with your spouse?
