Time after time, I notice one difference in the couples who succeed in their marriages vs. the ones who do not succeed – faith. Faith the marriage will get better. Faith that the hard time is temporary, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
It is not a Pollyanna mentality (having faith will solve every marriage problems) or even a religion push for faith. I know faith is essential for marriage. I have seen at work in my own marriage. Even at the hardest time in my marriage, I knew we would get through it because of faith. The hard times – just momentary test compare to all the blessings we have experienced and the blessings we will experience. That is one of the reasons I ask my counseling clients “What is your vision for your marriage?” To have a vision for the marriage you need faith. There is no possible way to be certain of the future of your marriage without faith
Couples who succeed in their marriages have 6 characteristics based on faith:
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They have faith that the marriage can withstand any test.
Hard times are served as lessons and a time to reaffirm their commitment to each other.
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The spouse trusts and believes the best of the other spouse.
They know the marriage has a spiritual mission.
They have a vision for the marriage.
Christ is the center of the marriage, and the marriage is a covenant.
Couples who do not succeed in their marriages have 6 characteristics based on lack of faith:
They lost hope that the marriage can be better.
They do not believe the other spouse is doing the best efforts to better the marriage.
They focus on the other spouse’s flaws and role instead of their own.
Hard times are just an affirmation they need to end the marriage or just stay in the marriage because it is familiar and comfortable.
They are willing to go with the flow, withdraw or get angry when they faced with conflicts.
The marriage has no mission; it is just a contract not a covenant.
Faith can push you to say “I’m sorry” because you know your spouse will really forgive you. Faith allows you to feel secure because you know your spouse honor you and the covenant he made and will not break the marriage covenant for a momentary pleasure.
Marriage where faith is long gone, the glimmer of “I do” is gone. What is extremely sad is seeing the couples decide to coast and let their marriages die right in front of them without a last fight.
What happened? Faith is long gone. So, build your faith and protect your marriage.
Questions: What role faith has played in your marriage?
