Turning Relationship Failure to Your Advantage

Have you thought to yourself I don’t have what it takes to be a good wife or a good husband? Or Maybe, you thought you are stuck, it is your spouse who do not have what it takes to be a good wife or a good husband.

This post is dedicated to you

What can we learn from our past failure that can lead to successful relationships?

   1.     You are not the mistake you have made – At times, it can be tempting to look our past romantic relationships or even friendship and see that we have failed. Your new definition of failure from now on - failure is when you stop trying. Consequently, if you are still working to better your marriage you have not failed.

   2.     You are not your past – Broken home, poor parenting, no role model etc .No problem. You can still create the marriage that you want. I meet couples who really feel that their marriages are doomed due to family of origin. Can you carry your parents’ relationship model to your own relationship? Yes. If you decide that is the model that you want or if you see the dysfunctions playing in your life and you do not act to change your own thought and behavior. Acknowledge the failure and take responsibility for your own relationship.

   3.     Use your past to your advantage – Take past mistakes and use them as a marker of no return, an encouragement of where you came from or as a lesson. Broken marriage, divorce, past abuse, domestic violence, infidelity and all other relationships no-no, can be the catalyst you need to have the amazing marriage that you desire.

   4.     Correct your thought – Do not beat yourself. The more you beat yourself the more you get stuck in your past. Can you really go to your past relationship and change the events that have happened. No. Make the decision to learn from them.

   5.     Be the Wow you were created to be – Still having doubt that you can have a successful relationship with your spouse. A few ago, I was encourage by the list below. Take this list and use it when you think your relationship is doomed due to your past.

Sara was impatient

David had an affair

Abraham was old and had no back bone

Peter had a temper

Jacob was a cheater

All the above individuals had baggage, but their past did not define their roles. So, if you had broken marriage, divorce, past abuse, domestic violence, infidelity, lack of parenting, poor role model, broken home, etc. You can still be the wife or the husband you were created to be.

Question: What relationship failure do you need to turn to your advantage?

Thank you for reading. To grow your relationship, please visit us at http://www.portofpeacecounseling.com