For All Those Who Forgot to Say Good-bye

I was reading an article on the front page of Yahoo yesterday titled “Readers' Stories: How September 11 Changed Us.” The author asked for Yahoo readers to think back to where they were 10 years ago when the terrorist attack on our nation took place. Many wrote in to talk about how this national event changed them, both for the good and for the bad. So, I thought about where I was on that day and thought I would share. Please feel free to reply with your stories as well…

On Sept. 11, 2001, my husband and I were living in an apartment in Decatur. I was the Marketing Research Manager at CNN and was getting ready for work that morning when we turned on the television and saw what was happening. I remember my husband saying, “Come here, quick! You have to see this! There is a plane flying around the World Trade Center in New York and it looks like it is going to hit it!“ I was walking into the living room to see what he was talking about and no sooner than he had said those words, it actually happened. We were actually watching live as the first plane hit the first tower of the World Trade Center. 

I don’t really remember what happened next except that a lot of thoughts came rushing to my head at the same time. When we watched it live, we thought it must have been a small airplane. They have been known to get off course and we had heard about crashes like this one. At least that is what we thought. But, as the events unfolded, we realized that the plane was not just “off course.“ It was flying in restricted air space. Then reports started coming in that I was a commercial airline and it had been full of passengers. The severity of this event was slowly starting to register. This was going to be a very unusual day. 

We sat on the sofa, glued to the television. It was hard to believe that I had just recently returned from a research conference in Manhattan that past July. My Mom had even joined me when my conference was over and we spent a couple days shopping and sightseeing. I have a photo of the two of us at the famous “Windows on the World” restaurant which was at the very top floor of the Trade Center. I remembered what a great time we had that night and all the wonderful people we met. The servers, bartenders, security guards, hostesses… they had all been so nice. We had a great time. And, now, I wondered if any of the people I had met would have been at work that early. I prayed they were all still at home, just like me, still getting ready for work.  

Suddenly, I snapped back to reality and realized that I should not be sitting around at home watching this stuff on CNN. I was supposed to BE at CNN! The office must be going crazy trying to report everything that had just happened. I rushed out the door and did not even think to kiss my husband good-bye. Later, I realized how many other people also forgot to kiss their loved ones good-bye that morning. But they would never have that chance again. 

Breaking news was not unusual for CNN. It is what they do better than any other news network because of the sheer number of affiliate stations they have across the country and the world. But, this was not a typical breaking news event. I had no idea what CNN would be like that day. 

As I raced to work, I noticed that most of the other traffic was going the other way. It didn’t dawn on me that I could be heading toward danger while everyone else was driving away from it. The events that were still unfolding were not something that you could easily grasp as reality. We never considered the possibility that there could be more planes, more crashes or that the towers could actually fall. When I arrived at CNN Center, I learned something that had not even entered my mind. What had happened was not only very real, it was no accident.

Security was everywhere and the entire news room was on “lock down.” The staff that was inside was busy and no one unauthorized was allowed to go in. It did not appear like anyone would be coming out any time soon either. These people are true professionals and breaking news is what they do best. It was a very proud feeling to be a part of such a professional organization that was not panicked, but very prepared to do their jobs. The nation was watching and the media was there to get the story out as quickly as possible, dispel rumors and provide emergency instructions. 

When I finally made it upstairs to the 12th floor where my department was located, it was the complete opposite of where I had just left. There was hardly anyone around. A friend from “down the hall” came into my office and told me a second plane had hit the other tower. I turned on the television in my office and several of us gathered around to watch. That is when we all heard the name Osama Bin Laden for the first time. We learned that our country was currently under an active attack of terrorism. And we started to get scared.

The anchor on the air was pointing at a large map that was lit from behind to show every U.S. airplane that was currently in the air. The planes were being reached by radio and were told to land at the nearest major airport. As the planes landed, the light on the map would turn off and very quickly we could all see exactly which places were not landing as they had been ordered to do. No city, no mode of transportation, no person was safe. We did not know what was going to happen next and it was difficult to determine if anyone was in charge. 

My friend left to find out what we should be doing. While she was gone, we heard about the attack on Washington. That’s when the people who had been hanging around in the hallway started grabbing their things and heading out. My friend returned from her office and was yelling, “Leave!  Everyone can leave! They told us to go home! Take the stairs!” 

On my TV, they had started rolling names of cities in a banner across the bottom of the screen. These were other potential targets. And, there it was: Atlanta. Everyone started to speculate about whether CNN would be a target. We were actually trying to remember is terrorists are the ones who like the media because it helps them spread the word about their mission, or are they the ones who hate the media because of the way they are portrayed? Either way, we knew they hated Americans and that was enough to make us all start feeling a big claustrophobic. Then, an announcement came over a loud speaker in the hallway telling us in a very monotone sort of voice “all non-essential personnel are to evacuate the building immediately.” 

It was the first and only time in my professional career that someone could call me “non-essential” and I would be happy about it.  But, just as quickly as I had arrived, I was just as anxious to leave. Our “Fire Marshall” was probably the first one to the stairs.  Everyone else had their things and were right behind her. I told them to go ahead because I was just going to call my husband to let him know I was okay. But, after about five or ten minutes of trying both my office phone and my cell phone, I realized that I was not going to get any calls out. And being all alone on that huge floor of the office building felt really eerie. I should have realized that we had calls coming in from all over the world. I could not even get a cell signal when I was at Music Midtown! Why did I think something like this would be easier? 

I looked out my window toward the World Congress Center and the Omni Hotel. I could see a little bit of Centennial Olympic Park, the site of a terrorist attack during the 1996 Winter Olympics. At that moment, I felt a strange connection with the victims who were still trapped in their office buildings in New York. A feeling of fear and panic swept over me as I realized I needed to get out of there.  I took the stairs as we had been instructed. And, the entire time I was thinking about those poor people in New York who were climbing down flight after flight of stairs the same way I was at that very moment.

I made it to my car and drove home as quickly as I could.  This time the streets in downtown Atlanta were almost completely vacant.  When I got back to the apartment, I rushed in and my husband and I just held each other. He had heard the reports about Atlanta being a possible target and had been unable to reach me at work or on my cell phone. There were no words to describe the way we felt at that moment. I don’t know if anyone can ever explain the bizarre combination of shock, dismay, fear, anger and sadness that we all experienced. 

We watched the images of the towers falling which were played over and over again on TV for the next several days. We saw the people jumping out of windows and those running down the streets. Physically, we were safe, but mentally, our perception of the world was changed from that day forward. We lost our sense of national security. In a way, it felt like we lost our a kind of innocence that I doubt we will ever recover. It was painfully heartbreaking to see all those people wandering the streets in the aftermath holding up photos and searching for their loved ones amid all the rubble.

After Sept. 11, 2001, my husband and I took a hard look at the priorities in our lives. We got serious about saving money, buying a home and starting a family. We realized that if we had been in those same shoes, or if the terrorists had attacked Atlanta, we could quite possibly be facing a future not only without each other, but without a child either. Children give us all hope for the future and we realized that was something that was missing in our lives.

We bought our house in Tucker not long after that and a few years later, our daughter was born on a rainy September afternoon.  And every year on Sept. 11, we remember where we were. And we are so thankful for what we have.