Wishing For Something Better

My year of optimism is starting to come to a close.  I only have a few weeks left and I’m starting to look back and evaluate how everything has gone.  This last year has me noticing a lot of personal growth.  I have observed that I’m much more grateful and a lot more patient.  But what I think what has been one of the greatest benefits are the smaller habits that have changed subtly over the last several months.  One of those transformed habits has been my self-talk when tackling a challenging issue.  Instead of wishing for something better I’ve noticed I’ve have changed my inner dialogue.  I have shifted my focus to seeing what I’ve contributed to the situation or what I can learn from it.  My “wishes” have turned into “why”s.

Why did I react a certain way? 

Why did I make a decision I knew I would probably regret? 

Why is this seemingly good thing not giving me joy? 

Why did I create this negative reaction in another person?  

Previously, instead of asking “why” I would just “wish”.

I wish this person was nice to me. 

I wish I was a better decision maker. 

I wish I loved my job.

My conclusion with this small observation is that there was no possible way for my optimism pledge to work to its full potential if I sat back and continued to wish for something better.  Optimism is a noun.  It’s concrete.  It requires action, not just wishing.

Optimism (noun) ɒp tə miz əm 1. Tendency to expect the best; the tendency to believe, expect, or hope that things will turn out well.  2. Confidence; the attitude of somebody who feels positive or confident.  3.  Doctrine that our world is best; a philosophical doctrine, first proposed by Leibnitz, that ours is the best of all possible worlds.  4.  Belief in power of good; the belief that things are continually getting better and that good will ultimately triumph over evil.

Wish (verb) wiʃ 1.  Have strong desire; to have a strong feeling of wanting something to happen or wanting to have something.  2.  Want something; to want something or want to do something.  3.  Express desire; to express or feel desire that something is true or will come to pass.  4.  Regret something; used for expressing regret about something (i.e. “I wish I never mentioned it.”).  5.  Greet somebody; to greet somebody in a particular way (i.e. “wished me well.”)

When I set out in January to see the good, contemplate the positive and seek out silver linings it was because I had a strong feeling  or desire for something just a little better.   But, I had moved past wishing for it and was ready to take some action.  What I didn’t consider was that the intention of going into each day with a plan to be positive requires an inward glance.  Wishing characteristically looks outward at circumstances and implores them to change.  But optimism requires us to start at the core of our being where our faith resides and ask some tough questions.  Positive change starts from within, not from without.   I had probably spent a good number of years without that reflection that is so crucial to making a positive impact in my own life.

I loved this analogy that Thich Nhat Hahn uses in the book Living Buddha, Living Christ where he discusses the similarities of Buddhist and Christian prayer life.    He points out the fact that answers to prayer often require this inner reflection because we often do not take into consideration the greatest good and the fact that what we do in turn, affects the entire world and those around us.  For example, in the morning if you are setting out to have a picnic and enjoy the day outside you might pray for a warm sunny day with no rain.  However, the farmer down the street might be praying for a good soaking rain so his crops will grow.  This is a great and extremely simple example of how important it is to see the benefits and positive circumstance in each and every situation.  If it rains on my picnic, it doesn’t mean the day is ruined, it simply means that our greatest good is being served and I should be unreservedly grateful.   I might not be aware of the farmer’s need for rain, but I can always be aware of God’s presence and control in each and every situation.  From that point of recognition I can decide to embrace and love the situation that has been given to me (a rainy day) and change my plans with a sense of joy or, I could lament the entire scenario and be miserable.

Rain on a picnic is certainly easier to understand and apply this perspective on then many other deeply challenging situations.  But the concept is the same whether it’s rain or grieving a loss or trying to make financial ends meet.  Looking inward and recognizing that God dwells within us to answer the “why”s  will always change our perspective and not leave us wishing for something better.

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