SUV Crash Lands on Dealer's Row: OMGPD

OMGPD is an occasional collection of PatchChicago’s weird and noteworthy.

Scratch-And-Dent Sale: A heap of bent metal and broken glass greeted Rod Westphal Chevrolet at Route 30 and Route 34 on Sunday. An SUV steered by an accused drunken driver in Oswego left the road, went airborne and landed on a row of cars for sale at an Oswego auto dealership on Saturday, according to police.
» via Oswego Patch

Towel Boy: Charles Bocock, an Englishman tossed into the Will County pokey last year on accusations he tried to buy a child sex slave off Craigslist, doesn’t like the jailhouse bath towels. He says they are too small. The 36-year-old accused perv was arrested, report police, after he offered to help a Craigslist advertiser with his car payment if the man would find him a girl between the ages of 7 and 11 for sex. In a complaint filed with the court, the Brit says he needs more food, wants free “shaving soap” and would like more recreation or leisure time. Bocock previously complained the commissary sold him packets of spoiled mayonnaise.
» via Plainfield Patch

Stupid Selfies: An Evanston iPad thief, apparently oblivious to the fact the stolen device was uploading the selfies via the cloud to the owner’s other Apple devices, was tracked down by police. The thief gave the iPad back.
» via Evanston Patch

Going Smokeless: Someone pilfered $6,500 worth of cigarettes from the back of a Dodge Caravan in Oak Lawn recently. The Caravan’s owner told police he used the vehicle to store items for the shop where he works, but sometimes the rear door lock doesn’t work.
» via Oak Lawn Patch

How Not to Handle a Firearm: A 31-year-old Evanston man who was showing off his shotgun for friends put the weapon to his head after ejecting a few rounds and then pulled the trigger. Apparently, he forgot a round and ended up killing himself.
» via Evanston Patch

Wandering Under the Influence: A drunken man who was kicked out of a restaurant after wandering through the place’s kitchen and basement finally decided to call it a night and wandered home. Trouble is, he wandered into someone else’s home in Lake Forest. When cops arrived, he started fighting with police and later was taken to a hospital.
» via Lake Forest Patch

Hard to Swallow: A Steak n’ Shake in Joliet is accused of serving up a milk shake in 2012 spiked with “foreign matter” that bruised, tore and strained the drinker’s jaw, according to a newly filed lawsuit, damaging bones, muscles, tissues and ligaments.
» via Joliet Patch

CRIME & SHAME HEADLINES

• Doc Pleads Guilty To Fondling Female Patients

• Murder of Teen at NIU Spurs ‘Panic Button’ Invention

• Judge Allows Cameras in Geneva Doctor’s Rape Case

SOME GOOD NEWS

Hero Pizza Man Saves a Life in 30 Minutes or Less: The hero found a person passed out in the living room while he was making a pizza delivery. » via Elmhurst Patch