High School Chronicles: Wardrobe Malfunctions Justified

People may look at us high schoolers and make some presumptions regarding our wardrobe selections; they may go far as to say we look as if we hobbled out of a homeless shelter with our pathetic-looking attire. We get it. We give up sometimes on our appearance. But there are many reasons that adults don't factor in when they make such preposterous (ok fine, valid) statements. But from a high schooler such as myself's point of view, we fellow high schoolers have our reasons to be exempt from looking socially acceptable:

 1. Autumn has just approached, and cold weather is beginning to settle in. The crimson-hued leaves gently make their descent to the damp gravel, and the wind becomes brisker with each passing minute. Yes, the trees are lovely, and yes, pumpkins are nice. But for high schoolers, this time of year is very grave... it means pulling off those toasty sheets at 5:30 in the morning to a freezing house. It means mustering enough strength to turn on the switch that cues the merciless, blinding light to pierce through our eye sockets... and the house isn't getting any warmer. It means being greeted at the bus stop with a complimentary sheet of cold rain that might give us pneumonia with the friendly 45 degree temperature. Yes, we feel so motivated now to dress like we stepped out of Teen Vogue.

2. Homework is so fun! AP Calculus, AP Language and Composition, AP Chemistry, AP World History, AP Physics, AP Spanish, AP AP AP AP AP AP AP AP AP. We live in Montgomery County. We are integrated in a culture full of diverse backgrounds, with parents that pressure us to score well on everything and expect us to get into top schools. We are aware of these expectations and accept them reluctantly, and are ready to go home at the end of the day saddled up with a good 5 hours of homework a night. By the time we hit the sack at say, midnight, all we're worried about is getting as much sleep as we can get. Personally, I look forward to sleeping. It's what gets me motivated to finish up homework. So when it's time to wake up in the morning, are we willing to waste an extra 10 minutes that could be used to find a decent outfit as opposed to catching some last minute z's? Hardly.

3. Mondays are a bummer. After such a relaxing, much deserved weekend, just the thought of another torturous round of work at school is horrifying. Mondays are a day of adolescent defiance to the world, and our sweatpants are a comfort to us when as we enter the suffocating chambers that we call school.

4. Back in middle school, when we could afford to invest time in looking like we lived in a stable home, our dear old Moms used to say sharply: "School isn't a fashion show." We're merely upholding this wise philosophy!

5. According to dictionary.com, sweatpants are "loose-fitting pants of soft, absorbent fabric, as cotton jersey, usually with a drawstring at the waist and close-fitting or elastic cuffs at the ankles." This description is very appealing.

6. We flunked a test the previous day. We feel like crap. We give up on life. Why can't we convey our feelings honestly through our clothing? This is freedom of expression at its best.

7. Don't care about anything anymore, sweatpants and a ratty shirt are our last resort.

 And there you have it... the mysterious reasonings behind the infamous sweatpant have been broken down and analyzed. Although this topic may seem inconsequential, the sweatpant is a secret language in high school. It is a concept that only we ourselves can understand. It is a uniting force. Hopefully, with this insight, people not part of the high school medium can understand why a not-so-typical high schooler in a not-so-typical high school wants to dress in an overwhelmingly typical way.