Suicide and what it does to family and friends

I know some are thinking why am I writing about suicide on a professional abuse blog but many victims of professional abuse contemplate suicide.  It is something they think about every day.  

For those of you that are contemplating it or for those of you that are family and/or friends of someone that has accomplished it, this is for you.

I am not an expert on this but I am a survivor as my brother killed himself almost 18 years ago.  What this did to my family and friends?  

It was the hardest things to deal with, from the very first time the phone rang and I was told my brother had been shot.  I went to the hospital as they were operating on him, I prayed the entire time asking for him to be ok.
Well, he wasn't and within a day we were making the decision to take him off life support as he was brain dead.
At the beginning we didn't want to believe he killed himself, we just knew someone else had done this to him.  I went through a lot of depression about losing my brother.  I told myself it couldn't be true as we were with each other the night it happened, he was fine, why would he do this.  
For several years after his death, I hated the month he died in-which just happened to be the month he was born in too.  I would fight it every year on how someone had to have killed him.  I was in denial that he did this to himself.  
My mother cried all the time.  My family only gets together a couple times a year although we all got together several times during the year when he was with us.  A part of our family is missing and we all had a hard time dealing with it.
Around 6 or 7 years after my brother passed,  I finally realized that my brother did do this to himself and then I went through the part of why would he take his own life?  Why would he leave us here to suffer without him?  Why didn't he think of anyone but himself, when he chose to do this?  A lot of questions went through my mind and a lot of them were never answered.  It took another few years for me to realize that my brother is at peace.  I get messages from him all the time with songs, reminders, and other things that made me smile at times.  
It is still hard and when I talk about my brother to my mom she still cries but it is easier every year.  

What I am trying to say to you is if you are contemplating suicide try to think of your family and friends.  You might not think they care but they all do and always will.  You get to leave this life and be in peace but the ones left behind will deal with it for the rest of their lives.

If you are a survivor of a loved one who took their life, please remember that it does get easier.  You will always think about them, you will always wonder why, and you will always miss them but eventually you also will be able to think of them and smile.  You will hear a song on the radio that reminded you of them and you will smile.

Try to remember the good times with them and push away the sorrow of what could have been, what you could have done to stop it, and what it might have been if they were still here.  It is a death and you could not have done anything about it.

I hope this helps both sides learn to deal with this a little better and remember there is always someone out there willing to listen, who has been through it too.  Look for them and talk to them.