Moms Talk: Find Your Tribe

I was looking over past editions of , and based on the readers' comments I can tell you one thing for sure: Moms need each other for information, strength and support. Every mother needs a tribe. But as the family grows, it can become difficult for moms to not only make new friends, but also to maintain the ones they already have.

I am a native Virginian who moved to Brookline four years ago. Back then, everything I knew about Brookline consisted of Fenway Park, and . Back when we were choosing a community in which to raise our children, my husband, who is from Methuen and who had long aspired to live in , would go on long diatribes about the wonder that is this town—the schools, the parks, the close proximity to the Red Sox, the city and rural environments, the diversity, the T, the fact that we could walk everywhere (especially to Fenway Park), and the endless opportunities for our children. Did I mention the Red Sox? On and on he’d go, and by the end he'd be humming Neil Diamond’s "Sweet Caroline."

We moved here just after the Christmas holiday, when our children were midway through second grade. I knew no one, and I remember hurling questions at the first mom I met outside the classroom. I think I introduced myself and asked about pediatricians, dentists, hair salons, grocery stores and after school activities all in one panicked breath.

The following week, one of the mothers from my son’s class called me at home and invited me to a breakfast she and another mom were hosting. I was extremely grateful for the chance to meet the other mothers in the neighborhood and incredibly flattered by the invite after only a few weeks in town.

“What’s the occasion?” I asked.

“You,” she explained. She thought it would be helpful (and fun) to have everyone get together to give me the experienced low down on being a mom in Brookline. She went on to say that each person attending would bring a list of their favorite local haunts and pit stops, everything from restaurants, farmer's markets and barber shops, to music lessons, dentists and summer camps. She would collect them in a book for me to keep as a reference.  At the time, we had been renovating our kitchen and there was dust everywhere and I remember thinking I would never get it all out of the chandelier and that I didn’t know where my good shoes were packed and how the heck had I gotten so darned lucky? I hung up the phone stunned and overwhelmed at the incredible thoughtfulness of this group of mothers. I had found my tribe.

I told my husband about the invitation. “Great,” he said, “What’s the occasion?”

“I am,” I cried.

As my husband burst into yet another Neil Diamond song, I realized how utterly important it is to have a community; how vital it is for mothers to have that sense of belonging, that peace of mind knowing you are not alone in facing the joys and trials of parenthood. Connectivity—we need it as humans, and we need it a thousand times over as parents. And sometimes, we just need a set place and time when we can hang on to someone who is hurtling through the same space we are at the same warp speed. That's when a good "mothers group" can provide the gravity to keep you steady; and hopefully this column can fill any black holes along the way. (My children have been on a science fiction kick, so I've got planetary analogies on the brain!)

For this week’s discussion, I’m asking moms to share information on Brookline Mothers Groups. If you are a part of a local moms group or know of one, tell us about it in the comment section below. Also, what tips and suggestions can you experienced Brookline moms provide to help the new families in town navigate the ins and outs of Brookline? After all, we're all in this together.