'I've Fallen in Love With My Best Friend': Go Ask Wally

NATICK, MA - He’s already a bonafide Internet sensation, and probably the biggest bunny celebrity to hit social media. Wally the Bunny has 217,000 followers on Instagram, and he’s been featured in numerous media outlets, including People Magazine, CNN, Good Morning America and the Boston Globe.

Now, Wally (and Molly) are going to assist and entertain Patch readers each week with the advice column “Go Ask Wally.” Each week, we’ll field questions from readers, and pick the most interesting one, with Wally answering one question each Monday on Natick Patch.

QUESTION: Hi!

A lot of things have been changing in my life and one of the biggest changes that has happened is that I have fallen in love with my best friend. I can’t stop smiling when I’m around him and I love it when he teases me, even though I say I hate it.

The only problem is that he doesn’t feel the same way and he might be having a new girl in his life and that makes me worried and have anxiety because I’m worried that once they make it official that I’m going to be forgotten. We’ve been friends for three years and I couldn’t ever imagine me liking him the way I like him now three years ago. I thought I was over him but every time I look at him smile or laugh or we hug I know I’m not and it’s driving me crazy.

I know the best way to get over someone is not to talk to them or see them but he’s become such a big part of my life recently it’s really hard to do that, we hang out once a week and we text or snapchat almost every day. I’m focusing my attention onto other boys in hopes that I’ll forget about it but I have never had unrequited love like this and I want to know if I’ll ever get over it and if it’s possible to still have friendships and relationships when this happens.

Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this and give advice.

Sophia

ANSWER: Hi, Sophia. It’s ME, Wally!

The frustration and disappointment you express (“he doesn’t feel the same way” and he has “a new girl in his life”) has generated what I describe as “relationship mud puddles.” People tolerate these messy puddles by lugging around heavy rain boots for protection, which can be exhausting and discouraging! Sadly, mud puddles don’t magically dry up. (Unless you’ve booked an appointment with the Puddle-Drying Fairy, and her waitlist is exceptionally long, so I recommend alternative strategies.) We endure the puddles in our relationships for very understandable reasons. How scary it is to worry about being forgotten! However, you must be realistic about mud puddles and the consequences of persuading yourself to trudge through them.

“Getting over someone” requires you to look after your lingering emotions while also cultivating relationships and experiences that create new, positive emotions. Emotions rebel when ignored or denied! They do not like this at all! Allow them to be themselves. If they become invasive, seek support from other people to help you cope with their presence. But be selective! Engaging new boys who fail to meet your standards is like eating junk food when you’re hungry! Nurture yourself with nutritious ingredients like supportive friends, family members, and enjoyable activities. These are the things that will bolster your confidence to “get over” this person without fearing that your life will crumble.

Consider the weight of those muddy boots, Sophia! Perhaps you would enjoy putting on flip-flops and leaping to dryer ground! P.S. Please excuse my self-endorsement, but I also recommend reading my relationship action plan for Monica and my seaside sensibilities for Debbie ); these responses are relevant to your question as well.

Wally (and his mom) fields questions that range from life’s conflicts and local politics to social etiquette to general hygiene and fashion tips. If Wally thinks the question is beyond his scope of expertise, he will pass it to his administrative team.

So what say you? Have you a question for Wally? We will compile them here at Patch and feature one question and answer each week. Send your questions to charlene.arsenault@patch.com. Or post your query in the comments section.

Photo Credit: courtesy Molly Prottas