Valentine's Day Ranking Puts Detroit Dead Last

Apparently, almost everywhere else on Earth is more romantic than Detroit. (Photo via Creative Commons)

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Pfft.

What does the financial advice site WalletHub.com, which ranked the best and worst cities for Valentine’s Day, really know?

The ranking was based on four criteria: available activities, gift accessibility, weather and Valentine’s budget (how much things like meals, movies and parties cost compared with a city’s median household income.)

Detroit ranked last. Dead last. Not only doesn’t he bring you flowers anymore, your Valentine’s night out might include a stop at the fast-food drive-through and a movie streamed on your smartphone.

There’s a silver lining. More about that in a bit. First, a pep talk.

Just because you don’t go out and blow a wad of cash that you might need to, say, pay higher water bills, doesn’t mean you’re not romantic. Who (besides WalletHub) ever said that you can’t be absolutely enchanting if you don’t spend an average of $139.70 on your sweetheart? (Besides WalletHub and

You’re just a lot more real than that. Besides, it’s not as if these studies are all that scientific.

For example, another of those rankings – the 10 Most Romantic States in America – had some surprising results. It was based on how much chocolate and champagne people consume, and how much sex they had to work it off.

The township-sized Rhode Island came in at No. 1, but that wasn’t the biggest surprise. Hold onto your wool hat by the fleece-lined earflaps: the third-most romantic state was North Dakota, where all that leaning into the wind must lead to a kiss, and than –well,what else is there for lovers to do in a state where winter lasts until Memorial Day besides eat chocolates, drink champagne and make love all day – the criteria for the rankings?

In that listing, put together by MyFitnessPal, Hawaii came in at No. 47.

WalletHub, however, says Honolulu, though not the most romantic city, just missed out on a spot in the Top 10.

We point that out to show how wacky these rankings can be, which brings us back to the much maligned Detroit.

Are we to believe that Detroit is less romantic than, say, No. 43 Wichita, KS, which doesn’t seem to be all that loving a place? No. 19 Omaha, NE? They husk corn there, right? Plano, TX? Say it phonetically – Plain-O’-Texas. It’s No. 9.

None of this matters.

They money people in the greater Detroit area doesn’t count for anything (said no one ever). So figure that in, and the area surely moves up. You don’t think those people out in – pick your ‘burb – Bloomfield Hills and Grosse Pointe aren’t doing their part to maintain that $139.70 average, do you?

Besides, it’s all a matter of perspective.

“Today is Valentine’s Day,” Jay Leno once said “Or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!”

Also on Patch:

• 3 Valentine’s Day Etiquette Gaffes to Avoid
• Valentine’s Day: Michigan Men Know What Women Want
• Wild Valentine’s Day Idea: How Animals Make Woo at the Zoo
• Oh, You Animal: Celebrate Valentine’s Day in the Wild
• What State Loves to Cuddle Up with a Romantic Movie?
• Romance Is Dead - and Alive, You Devil - In Some Unexpected Places