Lance Armstrong Was On to Something...

Oh dear. I was asked to speak at the No Boundaries Running Program sponsored by Fleet Feet and New Balance. It was a group of 40 some-odd people training for a 5K.

I have to admit that when I received the email a few months ago my first reaction was, “Umm, why?” I couldn’t fathom what my friend had been sniffing! I haven’t been running much these days. And the few marathons I do have under my belt were tucked under a whole different belt—one that I wore in my 20s, and one that fit me a whole lot better before my multiple sclerosis. Why the heck would they ask me to speak?

That sums up what I responded in my email to her. When she responded that she felt I had something inspirational to share, my heart was filled with flattery and I jumped at the chance. “Of course. Thank you for the invitation!” I said. It wasn’t until later when I got in the car on a 5 hour-ish drive to Boston with my husband that the panic set in. Holy shmolies I have to speak in front of these people. The more I thought about it the more the WHAT of my speech unfolded. Running has always been woven into the fabric of my life—all the layers, from professional to romantic, and even into the layer that holds my MS.

When I wanted to train for a marathon after running ummm…nothing…my whole life I bumped into Fleet Feet. When my career was dead end, I got up and walked out and went to work at Fleet Feet. When my husband walked in one day and chatted me up about how to start training for a marathon. We had a Fleet Feet wedding and Fleet Feet Babies. My husband ran the Boston Marathon to raise money and awareness for the MS Society. Running has permeated every area of my life. And much like Lance Armstrong believed it wasn’t about the bike, running, for me, had little to do with the finish line of the races I completed. It is so much bigger than that.

What I worried about was this: What the heck kind of message do you give to almost 40 runners who most likely don’t have multiple sclerosis? How do I share my story without completing depressing them and sending them on their training run in tears? Yikes. There is a fine line between inspiring them and completing depressing them. This was what I have wrestled with these last few months. And crazily enough, it wasn’t that hard to find common ground, some sort of bridge between these people’s lives and mine, MS or not, running or not.

The thing is, long before I had MS, long before I ever set foot on pavement with the intention of running a marathon, I had something. I had no career. Then I had a stressful career. I had crazy relationships. Then I had a beautiful relationship that led to crazy children. And then, well, I was sick. There was always something. Chances were that none of these people had MS, but chances were that all of them still had something. Ever since I could remember there was something in my way, daring me to TRY to run. “We dare you to try to commit to something healthy.” Sometimes the circumstances of my life would tease me to try. Sometimes it was just me and my inner depressed fat girl that would taunt me and stick her tongue out at me. And sometimes, it was others.

Whatever the case, there was always something. Acknowledging these "somethings" is the first step in taking the power out of them; pushing through hushes them to a corner. Pushing through consistently, over time, kills them. I always knew that my body sucked at night. I am useless after 3 p.m. So I would set my alarm and train early in the morning before my body started that downward slope of sucking. It is quite similar to my body now. I know if I have any shot of working out, it has to be early in the a.m.—when my body is at its best and the heat (which is especially crippling to anyone with multiple sclerosis) is at bay.

On a bad day I can’t walk. On an average to awesome day I CAN run with some careful planning. I ran three times in the morning last week, right up to my infusion day when I am usually at my worst. I went slow. I stopped when I had to and regrouped and started with a slight mosey of a run again when my body gave me the go. Good enough. If you have something, whatever it is, take the power away from its hold over you and your health. You CAN CAN CAN if I CAN CAN CAN. And if you think you can’t, call me. Inbox me. Meet up with me. Join a running/walking community. Surround yourself with people who inspire you so that their YES YOU CAN is louder than your NO I CAN'T.

What I have learned in my life, and throughout my running years, is that there is strength in numbers. The community you surround yourself with is louder than any "something" you might have. It was World MS Day when I gave that speech. It is National Running Day as I post this. Once again, running and my personal life collide. Lance Armstrong was right...it isn't about the bike. This isn't about the race. It is so much bigger than that.

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