Help, My Teenager Just Got His Permit!

My one and only child obtained his permit last week.  While he’s thrilled about learning to drive, I’m shaking in my boots.  The problem is I know too much.

Like car crashes are the number one killer of teens in New Jersey. Last year, 19 teen drivers and 14 teen passengers (driven by their peers) died on our roadways.  While that number, thanks to New Jersey’s strong Graduated Driver License (GDL) law, is down more than 50% since 2001, I can’t imagine being one of those parents who lost a teen last year or any year for that matter. I simply can’t wrap my brain around it.

Speaking of the brain, I also know that the teenage brain perceives and processes risk differently than that of an adult. The latter is far more risk adverse, while the former appreciates the adrenaline rush that comes when you travel down a roadway at a ridiculously high rate of speed. Brain maturity is the reason why an insurance company lowers its rates when a motorist reaches the ripe old age of 25.  I guess when it comes to driving, we’ve sown our wild oats by the time we’re in our mid-twenties.

But consider this, while a 25-year-old may be more likely to recognize danger than his 17- or 18-year-old counterpart, there’s the ever-increasing issue of distraction.  My son doesn’t climb out of bed without grabbing his cell phone and it appears that the rest of us -- yes, even adults -- are doing the same. According to a 2010 Fairleigh Dickinson Public Mind Poll, co-sponsored by the New Jersey Division of Highway Traffic Safety, 25 percent of New Jersey motorists admitted to sending text messages from behind the wheel, a 20 percent increase over the previous year. And while drivers under 30 are more likely to text than any other age group, the study found that the increase was attributed to drivers 30 to 60 years of age.

That data is supported by the findings of a survey conducted last month at the first statewide Teen Safe Driving summit sponsored by the New Jersey Teen Safe Driving Coalition. Teens were asked to identify one driving behavior exhibited by their parents that they would not imitate. Overwhelmingly, they singled out talking and/or texting while driving (44 percent), while running red lights (18 percent) -- also a dangerous practice) -- came in a distant second. Parents, meanwhile, affirmed their teens sentiments, citing cell phone use and other distracting activities (43 percent) as the one driving behavior in which they engage that they would not want their teens to emulate.

So what’s a mother who knows too much to do? First, I got educated about the GDL program (I had a bit of an advantage since I helped to write and recently amend New Jersey’s law). What I learned is that it is the single most effective tool for helping our teens build skill, while minimizing risk. Understanding this is important. The focus of the GDL program is to ensure that teens drive (that’s how they learn), but do so in a way that results in them becoming good drivers for life.

The GDL program promotes lots of supervised driving during the permit phase, particularly in inclement weather (even ice and snow), and gradually allows for unsupervised driving to foster continued skill building. But during this second or probationary license phase, there are limits on things like passengers (just one teen passenger increases the crash risk by 50 percent), electronic devices (not even hands-free), and driving at night (40 percent of teen fatal crashes happen after 9 p.m.).

Besides getting the skinny on the GDL program, I also embraced the state requirement that my 16-year-old son must secure a minimum of six hours of professional driver training before his permit is validated. I don’t view the training as an inconvenience or expense (the average instruction costs $350). Rather, I’ll gladly pay whatever it takes to help my only child learn to operate a vehicle safely and smartly. And, quite frankly, I don’t think six hours is enough and anticipate paying for additional instruction in the coming weeks. (I’ll say more about this topic in my next blog.)

And finally, every time my son and I are in the car together, which is a daily occurrence, we talk about driving -- what we’re seeing and experiencing on the road. Our travels are prompting numerous teachable moments ranging from getting out of the way of tailgaters and texters, to moving over for emergency vehicles and using your headlights in the rain. The exchange is helping him develop greater awareness for what to expect and how to react when he’s in the driver’s  seat.

My son had had two driving lessons so far and will be back on the road this evening. A chance of rain is predicted, but I know that he’ll be in good hands and learning how to properly drive on wet pavement -- something every new driver must learn before going solo. Sure, I’ll be a nervous wreck until he’s back safe and sound, but I’m taking the right steps -- I’m getting educated, enlisting the help of a professional and talking with (not at) my son -- to ensure that he has a solid foundation.