Russ's Raving: Literally No One Is OK. Or They're Liars

Editor's note: The following is Patch Field Editor Russ Crespolini's, hopefully, weekly column. It is reflective of his opinion alone.

I thought I was doing ok. I really did. Work had been so busy I didn't really have time to process all that was coming my way as we dealt with the new coronavirus. I detached and wrote and did interviews and tried to keep up with company directives. I made my stupid jokes, I did my regular social media grousing.

My routine, while disrupted, was still mostly intact. I was working, during my downtime I spent it with my family and doing projects around my house. I drylocked my basement, cleaned out a spare room and converted it into an office for my daughter. Then this week, it started to catch up to me. I watched friends and family members have their meltdowns and withdraw and tried to keep myself from suffering the same fate.

Each day I watched as hundreds died in New Jersey. The spring sports season, prom season, graduations were all in jeopardy or being taken away. Our way of life was eroding. Our spirit was frayed.

And then I received an email from a student of mine who lost four family members to this pandemic. And I cracked. I sat in my office in the basement a puddle of self-pity and impotent rage. Being out of the classroom has left me adrift. Not being able to see my students, joke with them and advise them through issues in person has been difficult. To be this disconnected broke me.

Since my battle with a brain tumor late last year, through my surgery in January I learned that crying is a solid outlet for me. And I cried. And I tried to compose an email that made sense and was supportive.

And it was at the point I noticed something my nine-year-old had done earlier in the week. In her new office she had written a letter to her principal. Below is what she said.

Note: mild courtesy edit.

"Hi, hows it going? First of all, I wanted to say how much I miss you and all the teachers at CG. But this letter isn’t about that, its about an idea I had. In my opinion, I think when we get back to school we should have a whole day of celebrating. I know it might sound a bit crazy, but I think it would be really nice for our school. Oh, let me just give you a quick heads up. This is not an opinion piece, I know I said “in my opinion” but it is not an opinion piece.

Now what was I saying? Oh, so I think it would be good to have a celebration because we all miss each other so much, and it would be so fun to have a day to just talk and be with each other without having to do any work!

Also, you and I both know how stressful this is, and it would make everyone so happy! We could feel safe again, and calm. Maybe we could even make it a surprise! But even if we didn’t the school would love it.

Another reason is, The kids in our school are creative and active, and they love crafts and games (and food). What I am trying to say is, if we put that stuff in our party the kids and the adults would feel the school is really their home away from home! I’m not saying they don’t already think that. I didn’t mean it that way.

Lastly, we could make a fun tradition. Like whenever we go back to school that day we could celebrate every year! Kind of like a thankful day, a day when we celebrate that we got to go back to school. These are some reasons why I think we should have a celebration! Okay, I'm not going to lie this was sort of an opinion piece."

After signing her name she also gave credit in a postscript to her old kindergarten teacher, who she has been facetiming with once a week to chat.

I am sharing this not just because I think it is such a wonderful little letter for a nine-year-old, but because it showed me something.

It showed me hope.

It showed me that no matter how long this lasts, when it is over we can celebrate the things we used to take for granted. And when I get back to the classroom with my students, I will also spend a day celebrating being in class together.

The truth is no one is doing okay. Anyone who says they are, is full of it. But we can acknowledge this and look for things that give us hope. For me, it was the optimism of my daughter. Maybe for some of you it will be this column. But look for it. Because hope is there.

And we all need to find it.

Russ Crespolini is a Field Editor for Patch Media, adjunct professor and college newspaper advisor. His columns have won awards from the National Newspaper Association and the New Jersey Press Association.

He writes them in hopes of connecting with readers and engaging with them. And because it is cheaper than therapy. He can be reached at russ.crespolini@patch.com