Russ's Ravings: Be Patient With Everyone. Especially Yourself

Editor's note: The following is Patch Field Editor Russ Crespolini's, hopefully, weekly column. It is reflective of his opinion alone.

There is literally nothing easy about the situation we are all facing at the moment. The outbreak of novel coronavirus, or COVID-19, has stressed us all to the breaking point on multiple fronts.

Our world, as we knew it, has been turned completely upside down over the course of a few days and there is no definitive end in sight. The stress is manifesting for a variety of reasons. Many are left at home now without a job to go to and some without one to even return to. Those who do have to work are risking exposure and illness or spend their every waking moment sorting through pandemic response related materials.

Some people are trapped in abusive homes without the safe haven of schools and workplaces and the homes of others. Some don't have access to grocery delivery or the money to get access to food and medicine without assistance they no longer have.

Even those with creature comforts and security have to deal with stressors in their confinement. Children who had musicals and trips and sports season taken from them need to be consoled. Caregivers are now thrust into the situation of having to be teachers as support for distance learning not only varies from district to district but from teacher to teacher.

It all adds up to a toxic negativity that threatens to overwhelm us.

Which is why when someone posts on social media about now is the time to learn a new hobby or read a good book you want to strangle them with their yoga pants.

Well they would, Tina, but they've been on hold and disconnected from unemployment 16 times over the course of two days.

Or maybe you are too busy trying to stop your kids from fighting over an iPad or cook a meal they won't roll their eyes at or somehow figure out how to be a full-time teacher, employee and parent.

The point is there is no shortage of problems right now but solutions are as elusive as a coronavirus vaccine.

A vaccine that those people posting about hobbies probably won't even get. But that is another column.

The only thing we can do right now is to focus on what we can control. And the number one thing we can control is how we treat others and how we treat ourselves. So we need to give ourselves a break. What all the hip people out there call "practicing self care."

I don't know if I would go as far as to label it as such, but I would say we need to realize and acknowledge we won't be able to accomplish everything. There is a reason you pay taxes and send your children to paid professionals who have made it their life's work to educate them.

So you don't have to.

You chose to do something else! You are not equipped to do it. But now, you are being thrust into it. Now some of you will be really good at it. And some of you will find the person who invented common core math and be jailed for your terroristic threats.

The point is, you can't be good at everything under the best of circumstances. And these are certainly not the best of circumstances. So if you and your children are struggling over some assignment in some packet or some program, ask yourself if it is worth the heartache. Maybe you need to let it go for the day.

Our lives have changed. There is no going back. But there will be a new normal. I know I will spend the rest of my career writing about the fallout from this pandemic and what it did to our society, our economy, our education system and our healthcare system.

But if I try to look at it in its totality I will be overwhelmed.

So I will look at it like you would trying to eat an elephant. One bite at a time.

There are going to be days in which you are terrible at everything. Have patience with yourself, and try to extend that patience to others. Trying to force normalcy on this situation will only lead to frustration and disappointment.

So give in to our new normal. And forgive yourself when you fall short.

You will get through this not in great leaps, but in small steps. So let us take them together. One day at a time, one step at a time.

One bite at a time.

Russ Crespolini is a Field Editor for Patch Media, adjunct professor and college newspaper advisor. His columns have won awards from the National Newspaper Association and the New Jersey Press Association.

He writes them in hopes of connecting with readers and engaging with them. And because it is cheaper than therapy. He can be reached at russ.crespolini@patch.com