After Losing Her Son To Suicide, Ridgewood Mom Considered It Too

RIDGEWOOD, NJ — The mother of Tyler Clementi contemplated dealing with her son's death the same way he died: suicide.

"I grieved. All I could feel was my loss," Clementi said on a roundtable that was held a few weeks after celebrity chef and New Jersey native Anthony Bourdain, host of CNN's "Parts Unknown," killed himself. "I was not prepared for my whole world crumbling. When you're in that deep dark place of despair you don't see the resources around you."

Jane Clementi, whose son Tyler killed himself by jumping off the George Washington Bridge in 2010, made the remarks on "Finding Hope: Battling America's Suicide Crisis," a special roundtable discussion on CNN Sunday night. Tyler committed suicide after his Rutgers University roommate, Dharun Ravi, used a webcam to film Clementi engaging in romantic relations with another man and invited others to watch.

During the interview, Jane Clementi, who founded the Tyler Clementi Foundation, a nonprofit that works to combat bullying, especially the bullying of LGBTQ youth, said she blamed herself for what happened to Tyler.

"As a mom, I should have known what was happening. I should have known what was going on," she said. "The 'what ifs' and the 'could haves' and the 'should haves' all just circled and spiraled out of control."

Clementi said LGBTQ youth are more likely to be bullied. Her foundation works to combat bullying, and possibly subsequent suicides, by encouraging others to stand up for bullying victims.

"We also want to even go further and prevent the bullying before it even happens," Clementi said. "People in most bullying situations, they are bystanders."

If you are worried someone you know is considering suicide, do not leave them alone. Be sure to remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs, or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255), take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional.

Other resources include:

• 2NDFLOOR — a confidential and anonymous helpline for New Jersey youth and young adults, ages 10 to 24, at 888-222-2228. It is staffed 24 hours a day.
• NJ Hopeline: 855-NJ-HOPELINE at 855-654-6735

Related:

• As NJ Mourns Native Anthony Bourdain, See Where He Loved To Eat
• More NJ Teens Are Committing Suicide: Why It's Happening And What Can Be Done

Email daniel.hubbard@patch.com

Photo: Jane Clementi appearing on "Finding Hope: Battling America's Suicide Crisis," a special roundtable discussion on CNN Sunday night. (By Daniel Hubbard, Patch staff)