The Village Voyager: Pregnancy Pages

My husband Patrick and I are expecting our first baby in May. The way that the beginning of my pregnancy went, I don't think anyone would blame me if this was our only baby (though we don't plan on that being the case). Thanks to morning sickness, food aversions, and exhaustion  I lost--yes, lost-- 13 pounds in the first half of this journey. I honestly didn't even notice, except that my skinny pants fit without a fight, but Patrick tells me that there were a few days that I almost earned a one-way ticket to the Emergency Room. He calls me insane, I say mother's intuition. I knew we would be okay!  In reality, auto-pilot probably kicked in and I was going through the motions of daily life just trying to survive, but that's neither here nor there.

Now that I'm starting to really show, I find a new set of issues on my hands. The comments, opinions and... let's call it 'advice'... from bystanders.  Wowsers. This isn't something they cover in the books.

Here's a quick (PG Rated) list of things that you should probably not say to a mom-to-be:

• You're pregnant-- wow you don't look it... Is the baby okay? [insert instant panic here]
• You know that sometimes women are sick for the whole pregnancy, right?
• ...and my favorite "You aren't finding out if it's a boy or girl? Are you crazy?"

No. We aren't finding out. Nor do we care if it seems old school or that you decided to find out at the doctor's office and think that everyone else should too. My husband and I decided long ago that we wanted to experience one of the few true surprises in life the way that it naturally occurs. I understand that it isn't the norm these days, and for a couple that is constantly wired-up and connected it seems out of character for us.  

Let me explain:  Before baby, I was a detail-oriented, hyper organized, control freak. Those days are over. Someone else has been calling the shots in my life for the last 24 weeks, and will probably be doing so for the next 18 years. My way of accepting that is to take it to a ten and embrace the whole experience.

We have managed to come up with a nursery theme and register for gender non-specific items. There are short lists of boy names and girl names.

Ultrasounds have been performed without a slip-up. Is it too much to ask to be able to enjoy this unknown part of our pregnancy too? We are both constantly explaining ourselves and justifying our decision to friends, family and strangers alike.

The only logical way that this makes sense is that this is the universe's way of preparing us for parenthood...which is completely illogical. Constant questioning, meddling and (well-intended or otherwise) unsolicited advice. Then again, it takes a village... right?