Adieus Are

It’s New Years Eve, and the minutes are beginning to tick down until the advent of the Year of Our Lord 2022.

I think about all the other times when I awaited the beginning of another 365 days, some with anticipation and hope; several with fear of what was predicted and a few scattered with utter disregard for traditional celebration.

There was a lengthy period of contentment (not always recognized) when our household was chaotic. The Fabulous Four were still too young to disappear in the snowy night for parties, but confined to home on that night of gala parties elsewhere.

We huddled together while watching the Ball descend slowly and munching homemade goodies. We were also blissfully unaware that moments like this would soon become mere memories.

There, of course, were later holidays after they had all embarked on their own voyage of life, and their Dad and I awaited phone calls, or frantic alerts about delayed flights.

I seem to remember in the fuzzy nostalgic corner of a barely remembered yesterday, an even earlier New Years Eve, (before meeting my Beloved,) a gala event in a famed New York City Hotel. When the clock struck Midnight, and the cheering began, I suddenly realized how alone I felt in the crowded room. That moment marked the end of a friendship I once embraced and opened the door to another tomorrow.

Tonight, however, is different. While I am alone, I will join others and don the festive mask of celebration. Others, who will also wear one, will most likely share the cold embrace of loneliness that is so pervasive at this time of the year.

We tend not to find the warmth of human contact consoling, but rather choose to travel back to the yesterdays now gone not to return.

I wonder about so many things, but mostly, why during this amazing journey I have had, I never learned or cultivated the ability to say goodbye without tears.

While I have learned, there cannot be other beginnings without the loss of yesterday, I still have difficulties with adieus.

And I know I must try harder with this new and amazing gift of time called 2022.

It’s New Years Eve, and the minutes are beginning to tick down until the advent of the New Year, 2022.

Let Us Rejoice!!!!!