A Better

Her voice was suddenly wistful, quite unusual for her.

“She is so much like her Father.” I thought once again,

Then as our conversation continued, I suddenly realized we had been far more blessed than either of us had ever acknowledged..

The mutual friend we talked about earlier, lunches twice weekly with her Mom, a woman a few years my senior.

My daughter and I no longer share a coffee hour, or even a meal for that matter. Life and circumstances have denied us that pleasure.

Yet I think in the five years since we last physically embraced, life has taught us a far greater appreciation of each other..

She is, of course, not only my favorite daughter, but also my only daughter. She is also the eldest of our four children and undoubtedly, the one who survived all my inexperience and incompetence as a new parent.

She was always my pride and joy and then without warning, there were obstacles in our path. Wind, rain or sudden storms had thrown them our way, and neither of us quite understood why our normally calm emotional weather had changed so rapidly.

When the terrain eventually returned to normal, life resumed as if seemingly it had never encountered a sudden squall.

Conversations were intact, yet more thought was required before the instant honest responses of yesterdays.

Life endured until we both shared the searing pain of loss when the incredible man we both loved (she as a Father; me as a lover) left far too soon.

She took my hand and gently with strong assistance from her three brothers, I was guided back into a safe place. A refuge from despair was provided with their linked hands slowly edging me into the inevitable but brutal reality of life alone.

When the time for decisions arose, I was provided with choices, and again with their combined wisdom chose the best option. Of course, that included relocation from three other and beloved far flung families, but provided the joy of proximity to one strong and caring arm of the once intact circle of love.

And so I left. Then there could no longer be any more coffees, lunches or bus trips she and I would share again.

However, while yet unaware of the gift we had been given, we soon discovered an unforeseen opportunity to become better friends.

Now we speak daily. And while yes, it is often of ships and shoes and other things, scattered in between sentences are also truths heretofore hidden.

No longer do I reach out and hold my child in my arms, but my heart has become open to her and she to mine There is no longer a need for the formality of etiquette, We may disagree (not often or always) but also, speak with honesty without worry about appearance or offense.

Yes, I admit it might have been fun to live closer and dine and lunch and of course, shop. Still I not only wonder but also believe, my daughter and I have been given an amazing opportunity to again become the very best of friends.

I know I would gladly relinquish all the cups of coffee in the world for the single cup of joy that I enj0y in one phone call from my very favorite daughter, and the wisdom and yes, secrets we now are able to share.

And thus, another of life’s lessons learned.