A Different

There was a dark moment in time when I was unforgivably arrogant.

I believed it was possible to plan ahead if or when God suddenly closed the road I anticipated following forever.

Perhaps it was fear that initiated the hubris, but I knew my life was changing rapidly without a pause not allowing me to think or contemplate what and how to cope.

The detour was devastating, and I was adrift, physically, mentally and emotionally.

I was about to lose the man who had shared my life, my world, my being.

And there was nothing and no one seemingly able to stop his inevitable departure.

Determined not to be a burden, I thought perhaps after the end of what had been, I might seek to join a convent.

Of course, that was beyond arrogant because no convent would ever accept me.

Unless there was a new breed of female dedication that permitted sleeping late, spending countless hours on a computer, eating far too much butter pecan ice cream, and having a lifetime addiction to graphic mysteries both in print and on film.

No it was quite obvious. I was never convent material and wise enough to never apply and be immediately rejected.

I tried living alone and did so for eight lonely years until the Fabulous Four intervened and rescued me from becoming a total hermit.

Then I entered a new phase of life, and one quite different than I had ever anticipated.

I currently live in an adult luxury residence. It has not been easy either for them or me.

Admittedy, because most of my life I was insulated as a smug New Yorker. That has changed, and while I try to restrict my commentaries from the Big Apple view, I am rarely successful.

I return constantly in conversation to the East Side, West Side or all around the town when I once roamed the concrete streets without fear or trepidation.

I embrace news of the political scene in the state I once loved, and to a large degree, still do.

I crave “real” bagels and order them from Zabars; some to share, others to savor.

I am living in yesterday, and I realize I must reform.

I intend first to linger over a map of this magnificent state and learn not to get lost.

Then I will no longer make comparisons to the familiar grids of midtown Manhattan that no longer exist except perchance in my memory.

I will sample the incredible farm to table cuisine offered in my new home relinquishing memories of Restaurant Row , Joe Allen or the elegance of the Palm Court in the Plaza Hotel.

I will embrace every opportunity to adopt all the pleasures of my new home while remembering to be ever grateful for the opportunity of learning more about our amazing country.

When acknowledging I have both a new zip and area code, I will also remember to be truly grateful for the totally unexpected challenging detour I have been granted.