An Explanation Not

I have been given the gift of growing old bones, and nature reminds me of it daily.

While I reluctantly abandon cherished habits, (long walks without aid,) I am also acutely aware my gift has an expiration date.

I try to not dwell on that aspect of my blessing. When remembering all those whose exit dates were earlier, I realize their bones never were given an opportunity to age.

The Magician (my beloved dad) fell into that category departing this earth at 59.

Mom, and her Irish twin, Helen, survived far longer than any of the male members of their clan whose care they had both inherited.

My beloved was called home the year he turned 82, and yes, I desperately prayed his time on earth could be extended.

However, this is not a history of longevity in our clan, but instead an explanation of a recent decision.

I will no longer attempt to deny who I am, and I am not speaking of false identity, political persuasion or racial category.

Rather I am acknowledging that yes, I have a distinct and unhealthy fear of animals, one and all.

If you really wanted to frighten me, invite me to a zoo.

I was blessed to share my life with a soul mate who never allowed this lack on my part to disturb our life together.

The fabulous four, however, all bought dogs the moment they flew away. Yet their ongoing gift of love has been to carefully arrange for animal caregivers whenever I visit

I have often had to acknowledge and occasionally apologize for this obvious lack of development during my lifetime. But now I am finished.

It is as much a part of me as my height, weight and DNA.

I have absolutely no interest in researching the reasons.

Let’s be frank, I have other things to do at this point of life (finishing the new cookbook, learning to use the firestick, and possibly, just possibly becoming comfortable with texting).

While I readily agree my fear (or paranoia, prejudice or handicap) is not an attribute, I am not inclined to change.

Yesterday, a good and kind acquaintance, hearing of my lack of affection for neighboring pets, suggested introducing me to an “absolutely lovely cat.”

I smiled (graciously I hope), but quickly retreating, I remembered how really old my bones are.