Perhaps it could be viewed as A Pyrrhic victory, but for “The Family,” not the two sisters.
Helen lived her lifetime in her older sister’s shadow without ever displaying any evidence of self pity or resentment. Throughout her youth she cared without complaint for her stern father and five overpowering brothers until all departed for their eternal reward. By then Helen, too, was already in late middle age and youth had long fled.
I thought about my Aunt today when I overheard an impatient Mother say, “Hurry up”to her young daughter,
If I were to ever quote Helen King, that would be the phrase I heard her use most. Or course, that is exactly what she had been told to do since childhood. I recall overhearing my grandfather often complain to Mom about her sister spending too much time chatting with neighbors. Even as a child, I wondered why Helen never rebelled.
Helen, the last of fourteen children, and the younger of the two surviving King daughters, was removed from the sanctity of school long before adolescence in order to “Take care of the house”and her five brothers, the “boys.” Ann, her sister, older by ten years had found employment and was free to relinquish caring for the household.
Helen had probably never known an emotionally or physically healthy Mother or a Father not crippled with life and alcoholic problems. Still a child she merely accepted the role of servitude without complaint,
From that moment on she performed all the tasks assigned her until decades later the death of the last of the brothers released her from bondage. Her lifetime servitude was rewarded when all her male siblings left her their insurance.
Throughout my childhood, my Aunt wiped my tears, and bought me cream puffs when I needed comfort. The day I married she surprised me with a lovely hand knit afghan.
Helen King also renounced me when she was unable to accept the reality that I had been denied admission to her sister’s deathbed. Family was paramount in her world and overrode regulations. Included were those of the medical profession prohibiting hospital visitors with 104 temperatures and suffering from influenza. It was my loss and I understood, but still felt pain when she ended all communication after my Mother and her beloved sister died.
Ann, my Mother, had been regarded by the male siblings as the dominant sister, the wise female who took charge after their beloved Matriarch passed. Ann’s younger sister, Helen, was always subservient during the lifetime they shared,
However, both paid a price. Sometime long before I knew either one of them, a cruel bargain had been made. The older one committed to never allow the younger sister to be alone, However, then in return, the younger one took care of the Family house and the “Boys”. There was never a choice for either sister, but possibly also it was a Pyrrhic victory for the dependent male siblings.
I often heard my Mom, speak of her constant fear when departing this world. “What will happen to Helen when I am gone?”
Fate, however, was kind to both of them. Helen King lived alone another ten years for the first time in her life after her caregiver sister said goodbye . Ann, my Mom, suffered for 14 days after a flu shot, then closed her eyes and said adieu to all of life’s burdens,
Before the end of a long life, Helen enjoyed the luxury of caring only for herself and having friends. Then God brought his beloved servant home gently allowing her to fall asleep in an ambulance en route to a hospital.
Now whenever I am tempted to use the word, “Hurry”, I think twice and remember my Aunt, who found her happiness at the end of the trail.
