How Important

Does anyone really expect to grow old? I know I certainly didn’t.

I am reasonably intelligent so there is no valid reason for my denial of reality, but it’s true. I never thought it would happen.

I noticed others begin to stumble by the wayside; good friends hesitated for words, and yes, my beloved said his final goodbye.

That was almost more than I could bear.

I never once thought of him as old despite the date on his final certificate. Then suddenly he left, and Ifound myself alone fifty seven years after we vowed to love forever.

Today after I finished a delightful lunch with two incredible men (admittedly, both blood relatives) I had to be “handled with care” walking to the car. That’s when I thought with dismay:

“Ye gads, I must be old.”

It wasn’t a happy thought. I tried valiantly to ignore it being repeated in my head like a drum beat as we drove back to my apartment.

After I emerged from the car, yes again,with help, I insisted I could enter the building independently. I noticed their concern as both watched with anxiety.

Again I wondered. When did this happen?

Was it yesterday when I forgot to exercise?

Or was it another unforeseen consequence of my Covid reaction?

Or was it, just possibly, the reality of the days, months and yes years God has allowed me on this earth.

And then I questioned:

“ Is it so bad to be allowed such an amazing gift of time?”

Perhaps it is the precise moment for me to look at the gift of age with a different perspective.

Rather than regretting the validity of the date of my birth, I should be flaunting it with gratitude.

Because everyday has been an adventure. Every encounter was a challenge and every loved one a gift beyond description.

And from now on, I will think, “ How wonderful, I have grown old” and give thanks for the miracle of time.

And remember how important it is not to waste any of it pretending it hasn’t happened.