I Think

I think it’s time to tell the truth and remember that everything hasn’t been bad during the past twelve months.

Lockdown meant that I had the time (more than I should admit) to spend trying to install HBO Max on my smart TV. In a different world, I would have reached out for help to solve my problems.

But I had time and yes, I managed to do it. And I do admit, I am quite pleased with myself.

Every morning I have indulged in the undeniable luxury of spending sixty quiet minutes with my Portmeirion mug of strong black coffee accompanied by the daily TV news and internet mail without pressure of a calendar respite with appointments.

And yes, there is also a comfortable decision that permits not one iota of guilt when I stay up beyond midnight savoring John Hart’s new book.

Time is a gift, and too often, I neglect to appreciate this amazing dowry from the Good Lord that is so often neglected when we give Him thanks.

Rather it becomes an occasion to protest or complain about the chaotic moments and traumatic years that have become ours.

When I was ever so young I romanticized about joining the court of Marie Antoinette but failed to acknowledge the reality that never would I have been permitted any where near the famed Versailles.

In adolescence I fantasized about joining the golden era of Hollywood without admitting that being both tone deaf and clumsy, my musical ability could never have made it cross country.

During the hours I wished I had lived in the memorable Tara, I neglected to allow the horrors of the Civil War to intrude on my fantasy.

Ah yes, I have spent countless minutes, and yes, hours dreaming of what could have been, without acknowledging with gratitude what I had.

The joy of 57 years with my Anam Cara, the roller coast ride provided by the Fabulous Four allowing laughter, adventures and the undisputed gift of the tumultuous years we shared, are beyond compare.

But mostly, I must now also admit that recently it has been a distinct pleasure to be part of the world enhanced by the valor of good people dispensing vaccines, manning hospitals, and also providing the comforts of life to those in lockdown.

I see those heroes daily, and am in awe of their kindness..

I must state with gratitude that I am part of the world when both Pfizer and Moderna have provided a path of hope when none seemed visible.

Today may be difficult, but if I change the lenses from dark gray to clear, I must acknowledge that the past 12 months have also provided a luxury of unshared time I never enjoyed before.

So indeed it is time to admit that it really wasn’t all bad, at least for me. And again, a time to give thanks for the countless unacknowledged blessings I have received during this historic era.