A Love

Almost a century later as I gaze back in time, sometimes with honesty, more often with nostalgia, long hidden truths emerge.

I had always been spared any knowledge of the complicated negotiations that eventually affected my world so many years ago.

Before a recent discovery of well hidden documents, I was abysmally unaware of the ramifications those compromises eventually had on my young life.

From what I have learned from the aged letters, the two young lovers’ original commitment for marriage was confirmed with the exquisite solitaire now worn by a stranger.

However, that is the proverbial “other story.” and will remain for another to tell.

Shortly after their troth was announced and when the young red haired Lothario would not consent to sharing his household and family life with the large clan of the Dowager Matriarch, their commitment shattered and seemingly dissolved,

Despite his heartbreak, the young man adamantly refused the return of the betrothal ring

Four long and lonely years later, the two young lovers again made a determined decision to cement their undying allegiance and marry.

That was always the explanation I was given for the stunning sapphire and platinum bracelet now worn by their first grandchild and my only daughter.

It was a decision I can state emphatically neither bride nor groom ever regretted,

However, even in early childhood, I could not understand why our family holidays differed from those of my friends.

I could not know that had been a condition of the truce made by the two young lovers in order to share their remaining days on this earth.

And thus they did from the moment they took their vows.

As a child I accepted spending every traditional and religious holiday with my Mother’s family, my maternal grandparent’s domain. There was never any question about that.

While the meals our two families shared were sumptuous; the limited conversation was bleak and the sadness overwhelming,

The unending mourning of the dowager Mother’s survivors never diminished even decades after her demise,

Her adult children never enjoyed another Christmas tree, nor displayed a festive window wreath. There was never a hint of festivity or joy in their household only prolonged mourning,

Their elaborate annual menus continued, however, as a memorial to those served before their beloved Mother’s lengthy illness interfered.

All household laughter had died on the day of her funeral.

Still, the lovers’ unspoken truce was never broken, and observed faithfully,

However, annually, we shared every national celebration, Memorial Day, 4th of July, and of course Labor day with laughter and love and with “The Cousins.”

I remember extended breakfasts, in small crowded bungalows filled with the sizzling aroma of bacon burning and black coffee spilled.

I remember my Dad’s joyous. laughter,

I remember wet towels from small lakes and ponds and swimming lessons shared with the other branch of family. All of whom fiercely refused to admit gloom or sadness even when it seemed daunting,

It has taken a lifetime to digest the lessons life was teaching me at such a young age,

I was being taught compromise despite overwhelming odds of failure.

I was learning the power of love and the strength it provides to overcome obstacles.

I was watching love conquer.

Today as my own days on this earth slowly approach the inevitable exit, I finally understand.

The well hidden letters of explanation (shared with another) were only discovered recently and perhaps rightfully so.

Perhaps I needed more time to properly understand what I had always viewed without compassion,

Both families had suffered almost identical losses at precisely the same period of time. It was the year my two Grandmothers died within days of each other,

The two surviving families chose to view reality from a different precipice of grief.

Is that so different from choices our world makes today?

Do we accept grief with regret and unending sorrow, or choose to move forward to overcome rather than remain in the mires of despair for the rest of our granted days?

Do we recognize our choices?

I was blessed when two young lovers chose to compromise in order to share their time on earth together,

I know I never saw a moment of regret from either parent,

And I can only be grateful for their lesson of love and example of choice,