My Own

The mythical Pandora’s Box contained the 7 deadliest sins: Wrath, Gluttony, Greed, Envy, Sloth, Pride and Lust.

Yesterday researching the upper shelf of a closet, looking frantically for an old tax return, I discovered my own Pandora’s Box.

Fortunately, although it contained an amazing variety of emotions, none fell into the category of deadly sins.

At least not to my knowledge.

The brown cardboard box did contain a brief return to a life I have tended to romanticize and instantly brought a quick jolt of reality into my consciousness,

I had forgotten the pangs of separation I endured when the first of the Fabulous Four made her exit.

My daughter’s beautifully scripted and handwritten letter to her Father and I was still intact when I carefully opened the tissue envelope,

It was written on her first Christmas in a new home and a new relationship and revealed both love and acknowledgement that our relationships would endure despite change

I wondered if the blurred words had been caused by my tears when life began to change for our family, and for just a moment relived the long remembered pain.

Then I found copies of eight checks, all from the NYT, and I had to laugh at my own naiveté. They were copies of payment for the eight articles published by the paper during those frantic years. And I remembered why I had kept them for so long. They represented a dream come true.

But then there were the three more packets of handwritten letters, obviously written long before computers came into reality.

All were written by our three sons, as each took to the sea and wrote of adventure, Each young man reaffirmed his love of our family and expectation of returning home in the near future when the voyage had ended.

All were written in a time of innocence about the path life would soon lead our once intact family, And while their vocabulary differed, the messages did not.

As I began to repack the box, not really knowing quite why, I remembered that while life yesterday was truly quite good, there were moments when change drew pain that was best forgotten as life moved on,

And I thought maybe I didn’t really need my own Pandora’s box any longer.