Not Irish

You certainly could never describe them as Irish twins. After all, there was ten years between them, not ten months.

Still my Mother and her only sister couldn’t have been closer. I often think back and remember the few times my sister and I were alone with Mom.

Our Aunt could not have been kinder nor more generous. Still the claustrophobic relationship the two sisters shared had a significant effect on both Ellen and I.

I have always believed that quite early in life my younger sister and I decided independently to keep an emotional distance. While neither of us ever expressed it aloud, the moments of shared laughter and tears in our childhood were few and far between.

Today decades later but still crowded with long poignant memories of both a gentle Aunt and a strong Mother, a brief moment of both pathos and humor emerge again.

The words literally jumped out of page 36 in John Banville’s new novel, “APRIL IN SPAIN.”as the narrator recalls a quote heard in an Irish Orphanage,

“Laughing will end crying.”

Time dissolves as I return to the fourth floor apartment in Hells Kitchen during one of the few moments when Ellen and I shared merriment. As we laughed hysterically at the antics of my older cousin, Bill Hall, we quickly heard the words now quoted by the famed author.

Ironically, in the years that passed when perhaps Ellen and I may have repeated the line to each other, I seriously doubt if either of us ever quoted it to our children.

Rather we wrapped it tightly in the recess of memory and promised ourselves never to believe it was true. And sadly yes, we both remembered the words, and hoped the dismal viewpoint and the grim forecast, belonged uniquely to our Mother.

Apparently, we were wrong since John Banville uses as his source, “A black robed nun.”

Instantly, I realized the grim warning had been one learned in early childhood by both sisters. They were also equally instructed in their responsibilities toward the masculine members of the large Irish household, and emphatically warned of the dangers of joy, laughter or happiness.

Because of the words of a profound Irish author, I am grateful Ellen and I now understand our Mother and Aunt far better.