Power, Secrecy and

Power isn’t something I have ever craved, desired or honestly, given much thought about until yesterday, and now I realize that could have been a mistake..

Because I have been blessed with many decades on this incredible planet, I can go quite far back in time and retrieve so many dormant, but important, memories.

Yesterday afternoon I remembered the boy with freckles in my third grade class who deliberately pushed me in the school yard. I realized immediately that undoubtedly, he had a sexual motivation. Of course I should have reported him that afternoon, but I was only 9, and even though my knee was skinned, I hadn’t been badly hurt.

However, I can still do it. I’m absolutely certain it was Tommy, who knocked me down, but I won’s sign my name. My identity is not as important as telling the truth. I understand he is now teaching school. Imagine that!

The year Jack declined the invitation to my Junior Prom, we were both 16.. That was cruel even if he apologized, and the trauma still causes me great emotional anguish. Jack is currently on the Board of Directors for our local bank. I could give them a call or maybe just write anonymously to the newspaper. Perhaps I should contact Ronan Farrow. The stockholders should learn about his background. The truth is important, and must be revealed. It certainly provides needed information about his character, and his refusal not only made me cry, but I also missed my prom.

I’m convinced, also, that adolescent trauma is the current cause of my sleep apnea. I will mention it to my therapist next week. I’m so glad she suggested I begin to remember other abuses.

Last month when riding on the crosstown bus, I noticed the man sitting next to me was staring down at my newspaper; a blatant violation of my airspace.

Once he departed, I wrote down the badge number on his uniform. I’m proud now I sent that email to his employer. I am aware how vital it is to stop any form of male harassment. Men like that are an embarrassment not only to their company but our country, and should be punished.

Yes, it’s really wise to begin to start remembering all of these incidents. If I sit quietly just a little longer, I can probably think of others especially during the years I attended high school and rode the NYC subway.

And, yes, I shouldn’t forget the older man who once lived across the street.. Every morning when he walked his dog, he stopped to say hello if I was in the garden. . I wonder now what his intentions really were. I know he’s currently in a nursing home, but I will give his wife a call anyway and alert her. It’s never too late.

It’s so much easier these days to report violations, and I will certainly remember more especially if I try harder.

I didn’t know I could do that until recently and. I’ve finally learned something about female power.

But I wonder if anyone remembers anything about me?