A Provocative

She asked, “Do you think I have disappointed my Mother?”

The words jumped out of an email with the precision of a hypodermic needle piercing my heart.

The question could have been mine although it wasn’t.

Yet I recognized the hidden anguish and wondered if it could also have been uttered by many other daughters.

Mothers seem almost invincible to little girls. While this may seem admirable, often it makes the child feel inadequate. Sometimes I look back and wish I had known some of my Mother’s fears. Then perhaps I could have shared mine,.

However, that never happened, and sometimes I believe I learned to know Mom better in memory than I had in reality. Her absence allowed me to view her vulnerability, something I had not recognized during her lifetime.

The young woman whose questioning provoked my own retrospection is an admirable member of society. Her strength and charisma is inspirational. Her questioning shocked me when I read it.

Of course, she is different from her Mother. However, I can only view that as a result of her parents determination that she follow her own star. And so she has with amazing success.

It is the dream most, if not all, parents have for their offspring. I truly doubt if any would prefer a cloned version of themselves. There is an unprecedented joy in watching a child develop into adulthood not only independent but self reliant and confident of their own choices. There can be no other reaction than pride.

Yet love is vulnerable, and love for a parent seldom allows clarity of vision. A child views both parents as invulnerable, confident and at least until the onset of adulthood, wise.

When reality sets in, often it is too late, and the seeds of doubt emerge. Yet the quivering fear of having disappointed emerges at strange times but never quite dissipates,

Taking the liberty of speaking for other Mothers, however, may I say it is seldom, if ever, true.

Maternal pride is amazingly resilient and rarely, if ever, lessens and never abates.