A Severed

I never thought that our relationship would become so obsessive.

I suppose I was unrealistic, but the beginning was such a delightful new adventure that I, admittedly, lost all caution.

There were extenuating circumstances, and I acknowledge they played a part.

Weather, of course had it’s influence. This winter has been challenging to say the least, and the seemingly endless concern about the Covid family either arriving or visiting has been another serious issue.

I am glad there are no legal aspects about what will be hopefully only a trial separation. Since it is my decision alone, I take full responsibility.

Still, I don’t believe that is totally honest. There were snares along the way enticing me to stay longer, just another few minutes that steadily led to an all consuming bond.

Now that spring is, well not quite on the horizon, but lurking in the nebulous future, I realize our association has approached toxicity.

The mornings we spend together have stretched into a lunch rendezvous and frequent tentative plans for the evening.

I have forsaken friends, exercise classes and yes luncheon engagements because of my loyalty and/or commitment to our time together.

Now it must end at least until I heal.

Perhaps it can be just a trial separation, and never anything more permanent.

I think that would not break, but certainly fracture my heart.

I am reluctant to move away from the attraction that began over five years ago when we were first introduced by family.

I remember the Fabulous Four were a bit reluctant watching me that Christmas afternoon, while wondering if they had made a mistake.

Immediately, my obvious enthusiasm ended all their doubts. I knew from that moment on, I was committed.

And yet today I must admit I need more in my life.

Dear I Pad (number 6) it is time to spend less time together.

I doubt you will understand.

I don’t think you have the emotional capacity to comprehend how difficult this is for me.

From this moment on, on our time together will be monitored and sometimes terminated in order to attempt my return to normalcy.

I regret our relationship became my obsession.

If and when I heal, we will spend time together again, but only on a restricted basis.

Stay charged until then.