An Unlearned

It was “just one of those days,” and although I loathe conflict, I had an uncomfortable dispute with a shopping cart.

The determined cart insisted on going in one direction, while I continued in another.

And well, I don’t have to tell you what happened.

Loss of dignity (on my part not the resilient cart’s) describes it well.

And yes I have been warned about the friends I select.

There were several derogatory clues about the cart, and I learned a hard lesson.

So while I did not emerge bloody, I must admit to being bowed.

However, the most painful part of the minor incident was conflict. A subject my wise Mother taught desperately to teach her oldest daughter how to handle.

It may have been the one failure in Anna King Donlon’s life.

Today it still remains a physical impossibility for me.

Admittedly, I have paid a brutal price for shirking from loud voices and unjust accusations while others grew in strength with discord.

I admit to being insensitive that others need emotional outbursts as desperately as I require peace.

I have also learned hiding behind a seemingly placid exterior doesn’t ever solve the problem or quell the pain.

Indeed it wears the mask of indifference, and accelerates other’s emotional fires.

Perhaps the interlude with the shopping card reminded me about that.

And while I also have to admit I certainly didn’t believe Nancy should have visited Taiwan, perhaps I was wrong.

Obviously my inclination to pretend the escalating conflict with China will heal itself, will not solve the potential problem.

Precisely the way pretending not to recognize the danger of a shopping card (as well as other issues in my limited life) made the inevitable fall harder and the pain more searing.