Unplug & Connect

Guest Blogger: Donna Morrison, Director of Early Childhood Programs

Our Parents Place Saturday program provides a wonderful opportunity for moms, dads, or grandparents spend some quality time with their children in a rich, experiential early childhood setting. Together with the children, the grown-ups move from the play kitchen section, to the block area, to arts table in whatever manner they choose. It really is quite heartwarming to see the children and adults really connecting.

One of the main purposes of Parents Place is for an adult and child to spend time together. A “NO CELL PHONE ZONE” sign prominently hangs close to the entry door.  Yet, there are always one or two adults who can’t ignore their smartphone for even an hour or two.  Their children wander alone, trying to navigate a new, unfamiliar world. The children become stressed and possibly anxious while their parent chats on the phone.

This stress and anxiety can come out in the child’s behavior. The child won’t fully engage in any one play area, instead jumping from one table to the next. He never seems to have an interest in any one activity and may come across has having an inability to pay attention. In actuality, the child simply feels lost because mom or dad isn’t helping him settle in.

Young children need lots of modeling and grounding – and lots of attention, especially when doing new things.  Young, unattached children can become wild, out-of-control teens. Dr. Aric Sigman spoke at the Royal Academy of Pediatrics conference on this very topic: "Passive parenting, in the face of the new media environment, is a form of benign neglect and not in the best interests of children. Parents must regain control of their own households.”  You can read more of what Dr. Sigman has to say see here.

In the meanwhile, as a mom, grandma and early childhood specialist, I encourage you to carve out “media free” play time with your children.  Put your phone or iPad down for an hour or two each day and engage your child in some good “old fashioned” fun.  When you’re at the park or other children’s play area, keep your phone in your pocket for emergency use only. 

Just as I was getting ready to share this blog, I had a revealing conversation with one of the moms at Parents Place.  We were discussing her feelings of loneliness and isolation.  When I mentioned going to a park or playground to meet other moms, she said that she has tried this, but all the moms are texting or talking on their phones and no one is talking with each other!