What Is Child Abuse, Exactly?

April is Child Abuse Prevention month.

Most people think child abuse something that happens in other people’s families or in poor homes. While chronic stress and poverty are certainly risk factors, child abuse – or the broader term, child maltreatment – crosses all socio-economic lines.

Child maltreatment is an umbrella term which includes any form of abuse – physical, sexual, emotional – as well as neglect. There is a hidden epidemic of child maltreatment in our country: “Every year 3.3 million child abuse reports are made in the U.S. The United States has the worst record in the industrialized world, losing five children every day to abuse.” (from Childhelp.org)

While it would be difficult to find a parent endorsing the concept of “abuse,” the definition of what encompasses abuse may vary from person to person, community to community and culture to culture. The idea that children learn through physical punishment and humiliation has become far less acceptable than it once was, but the “spare the rod, spoil the child” philosophy still prevails in many places.

We know that hurting children as a form of discipline teaches them only to fear adults and hurt others. We also know that cultures in which corporal (physical) punishment is unacceptable have fewer incidences of child abuse.

The consequences for abuse victims are substantial and long-lasting. The emotional damage remains long after the bruises heal. The emotional repercussions may be immediately apparent or may not manifest until a child reaches adolescence or adulthood when intimate relationships and parenting become issues.

So what about prevention? What can we, as a society, do to promote positive parenting practices and support families in need of help? The trend in the professional community is to look at child abuse not as a personal failure, but as a public health problem. Family violence is an epidemic in our society, hurting our youngest and most vulnerable members and should be addressed as such.

I feel strongly about the isolation that many young families face. I meet many young parents at Parents Place who have moved to Westchester recently and have no family or friends available. The challenges of raising young children while feeling isolated and having no guidance or support from the older generation combine to make parenting even more stressful.

I watch staff members at Parents Place offer to hold a baby so that a mother can cuddle a crying toddler or engage in a group activity with her older child. This simple extra pair of hands is a gesture of support. I see the parents come together in groups to discuss common concerns and share ideas with as a social worker moderates. I listen as the Spanish speaking mothers share customs  from their countries of origin. As simple as all this may seem, this kind of peer and professional support combat isolation. Isolation can lead to depression, frustration and anger taken out on children.

On my “wish list”: programs that address the needs of parents who are stressed and isolated, and programs that actually address the needs of all young parents who need that extra “pair of hands” to help (either literally or figuratively).

The “It takes a village to raise a child” philosophy is sorely missing in our computerized,  technically sophisticated society. For example, even helping parents understand developmentally appropriate behavior can help them stay cool during a toddler’s challenging tantrums. If we know that our little ones are communicating (albeit via a tantrum) with us because they have an expectation that we will meet their needs, we can feel like good parents rather than inept ones! In this way, proactive intervention can be a good form of prevention!

If you are feeling overwhelmed by parenting, don’t hesitate to reach out…stop by Parents Place, 2 Central Ave. in Tarrytown or check out the following Web sites:

• The Guidance Center of Westchester
• The New York State Office of Mental Health
• Zero to Three

Guest blogger: Iva Jenkins, LCSW, Early Childhood Social Work Supervisor for The Guidance Center of Westchester