Youth Violence Prevention Week: March 18-22

As with any kind of violence, youth violence can take many different forms. In February, we posted a blog about teen dating violence. During National Youth Violence Prevention week, we focus on bullying as one of the most common and pervasive forms of youth violence.

Bullying is defined as a conscious, willful, deliberate and repeated hostile activity perpetrated by an abuser who possesses more physical and/or social power and dominance than the victim. (Kayte Anton, YWCA Crisis Center).

Typically, resources turn their attention to supporting the victim/target. However, it’s equally important for us to consider how we might intervene on the part of the bully. Many bullies are the victim of some type of abuse. That abuse is often what shatters their sense of safety and value; things they are constantly trying to get back. Often, young people resort to bullying as a way to regain power and control in a world where they feel they have lost it. 

What makes a bully a bully?

• Unmet Emotional Needs (Create Emptiness)
  Reinforcements of Powerlessness
  Lack of Attention/Praise
• Internalization of Social Prejudices (Trigger Emptiness)
  Hyper-Masculinity, Sexism, Homophobia
  Racism, Classism
• Skills Deficit (Facilitates “Acting Out” Emptiness)
  Lack of Coping Mechanisms
  Ineffective Communication Skills 

Who cares about the bully? Well, we all should because if we can stop the bully, we can end the cycle.

So what can we do? If you know a young person who handles all of their issues with aggression or taunts others in person, by phone or in cyberspace, it’s time to start a conversation.  Create a space where that person feels safe answering some important questions:

• What do you think are the consequences of how you just behaved? For yourself? For others?
• What were you hoping to accomplish?
• Are there other ways that you could have gotten what you really wanted without hurting someone?

There are many professional resources available to help you finish this conversation and to point the child toward healthier approaches to life. Sometimes, the young person can benefit from leadership opportunities, sensitivity awareness and assertiveness training.  A great place to start is with the child’s school counselor. The Guidance Center of Westchester is also always here to help.

By guest blogger Dinorah Nieves, PhD