Collection To Help Homeless Honors Girl Who Died In Greenport Crash

GREENPORT, NY — The loss of Amber Stulsky, a 10-year-old girl killed in a horrific Greenport crash while out shopping for supplies on the night before the first day of school in 2019, is a pain forever etched onto the hearts of all who knew and loved her.

On the North Fork, one woman has made it her mission to ensure Amber's memory is celebrated forever, with works of kindness done in her name. Erin Bednoski posted on social media recently, explaining that December 3 would have been Amber's birthday.

"Our sweet Amber Rae would have been 14 years old," she said. "In honor of her 14th birthday this year, I pledged 14 sleeping bags to Maureen’s Haven. Let’s help make this winter a littler warm for those in shelters or living on the streets."

Bednoski said the sleeping bags can be used or gently used. "I will even take the tattered ones and bring them to the animal shelter," she said. "Please help me to keep Amber's memory alive through doing good things for our community."

The homeless shelters also need new bags of socks, she said.

Bednoski hopes to have the donations by December 1 so she can make the drop on Amber's birthday on December 3.

"Last year we did winter coats, I pledged 13, for her 13th bday, and donated 88 coats to the Center for Advocacy, Support and Transformation, or CAST. " The year before that we did winter boots — I pledged 12, and we donated 27 new pairs of winter boots to CAST."

Bednoski also has plans for a collection of backpacks this summer to mark Amber's passing on September 1. "I would like to make this collection twice a year, her birthday, and the day she passed," she said.

The Forever 5 Foundation has donated five new sleeping bags, Bednoski said.

"I'm just happy to help keep her memory alive," Bednoski said. Her daughter Abbi and Amber were close friends. "I promised Abbi she would not be forgotten."

September marked three long, pain-filled years since Amber was killed; she would have been starting fifth grade.

Her memory fills hearts on the North Fork, as family and friends continue to mourn her unthinkable loss.

"Keeping her memory alive is important to me," said Amber's aunt Amanda Stulsky. "I have pictures on my wall and I keep one in my car. She was a true joy to be around — and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my niece."

Two of her sons have written songs in Amber's honor, Stulsky said. "The pain is just as present today as it was three years ago," she said.

This year, Stulsky planned a lantern release with her children and her brother Jason, Amber's father. On that day, to celebrate her life, she said, "We save a seat for her at dinner and share our favorite memories, as well as look at pictures," she said.

Southold mom Bednoski, who arranged an event in honor of Amber last year, on the night before the first day of school — said this year, the charity drive, organized as it has been in years' past, honors Amber's birthday.

Bednoski and her daugher Abbi also did rock painting in 2020 to remember Amber on the night before school started — and the kids took them to school the first day and decorated a garden, she said.

Reflecting on the loss, Bednosk said the pain echoes.

"It hurts, still. My youngest is in the grade Amber would have been when she died. I look at her every day, the innocence of her age, and am reminded of how precious life is. Just another reminder of how unfair it is that she is gone," she said. "I look at my own children and see how they have grown over the last three years. I don’t know what’s worse, the pain of the loss — or the pain of what will never be."

She added: "It doesn't seem to get easier, really. I feel for her parents, for the whole family, tremendously."

In past interviews, Bednoski said Amber had been her daughter Abbi's friend for two years. "She was a sweet kid. Soft-spoken. She didn’t ask for much; she loved the simple things. She always loved to have fun, and she loved nature," Bednoski said.

Amber, Bednoski said, spent time at her house with Abbi and her other two girls, making memories at sleepovers, swimming, riding Hoverboards, and spending days at Splish Splash.

Abbi used to stay in during recess to help her with her math, Bednoski said.

Amber was an only child, Bednoski said. "I have three girls, so she fit right in. I just remember the fun she had, with my kids, at my house — her smile and happiness. Her passing changed my children’s lives forever. It tore them apart."

She added: "I am so glad my daughter became friends with her; I’m glad they had each other," Bednoski said. "She touched our lives in so many ways. I find peace knowing she had Abbi and my other daughters to play with and experience things with — even though it was only for a few short years."

In a tragic twist, Amber's father Jason Stulsky, has spent the past year fighting for his own life after being struck by an SUV in Riverside on August 17, 2021. He survived and is, according to his sister Diana Stulsky, "our miracle man."

Amanda agreed, and said, of his recovery, "It's miraculous."

But despite that joy, the lives of all who loved Amber remain cloaked in sadness as the anniversary of losing her approaches.

"I hope you're dancing in the sky," Bednoski has said, remembering Amber. "I hope you're singing in the angels' choir. And I hope the angels know what they have. I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived."

To donate, email ecb5356@yahoo.com.