Heartfelt Good-Bye To Retiring IGA Staffer: 'He's Like A Brother'

SOUTHOLD, NY — For 33 years, Stanley Pasko has been a familiar face at the Southold IGA, a steadfast and dedicated dairy manager and a man who's become more like family to those he's worked with for so many years.

Pasko, whose last day is Tuesday, leaves a long legacy of kindness as he heads off into retirement; he and his wife Danuta are longtime community members, woven into the Southold canvas and part of the fabric of what the essence of hometown means, for many.

Danuta told Patch that her husband has long been dedicated to his job at the IGA.

While he's happy to be retiring after more than 33 years, she said: "He's crazy about his job. Sometimes I think his job comes first, before me," she said, laughing. "He gives his heart in everything he does. He loves his customers."

Her husband always made sure to order whatever his customers needed, she said. "He really loves his job and his customers," she said.

Danuta also thanked Charles Reichert, owner of the IGA, for his kindness and the benefits that have so helped their family through the years.

And, she said, it was the love and support of a caring community that got she and her husband through the darkest of times, when their son Lukasz Pasko died at 26 in an accidental shooting at a Southold home in 2010.

To the community, Danuta said: "Thank you very much for supporting us in a tragic time. It was the worst tragedy parents can have. Having that support from all of you, the people of Southold — thanks to all of you, we are alive. We are survivors. We can smile again. I can enjoy the smell of flowers again. We so appreciate all of the people who supported us."

Now, Danuta said, she and her husband, who loves soccer and loves children — Pasko always had a treat for the children who visited him at the IGA — are moving back to Poland, their homeland, where their house is just a 10-minute ride from their son's grave.

"We are going back to our home," she said.

Coming with them, Danuta said, is the couple's cat Zenek, who her husband adores. "There's a real friendship between them," she said.

Saying good-bye isn't easy, Danuta said. Especially to the people of Southold who have become family, including her husband's colleagues at the IGA. Also, she said, she and her husband have stayed close to her son's former girlfriend, now married with young children. "It's so hard to leave them," she said.

Friends and longtime customers are heading into the IGA to say good-bye, leaving messages on posters that have been set up for Stan, to give them a chance to tell him what he's meant to them.

“Our entire family will miss Stan," said Claire Kennedy. "He is one of the nicest guys I know. He had a soft spot for my son Alexander. We will miss him so very much. The dairy aisle in IGA will never be the same. Stan, we will miss you — best of luck. Keep in touch!"

James Gaffga, who has worked with Pasko since 2002, when Gaffga was just 15, said Stanley's brother Greg also retired from IGA in September.

"Working six days a week requires a lot of dedication to the business, and he only ever really took off when it came to his yearly trips back to his home country of Poland, and taking time off to run various marathons," Gaffga said. "The store was almost like his home. He could be fiercely defensive and passionate about how he ran and managed the dairy department."

His kindness leaves a mark on many hearts, all agree. "He often greeted familiar faces with a quick 'hello', and would often give children that came in with their relatives some fresh cheese sticks or yogurts," Gaffga said.

Pasko has always been energetic, Gaffga added. "Stanley was definitely passionate about soccer, particularly Barcelona, so if you really wanted to get on his good side you'd have to know a bit about the sport," he said. "That and running, since he was very proud of being able to compete and earn medals."

Kevin Grattan, manager of the Southold IGA, was also saddened by Pasko's imminent departure. "It's very difficult to lose a loyal friend that I've worked with for 30 years. I'm happy for him, but at the same time, I'm really going to miss him," he said.

Describing Pasko, he said, "He's very humble and kind."

Another employee, who declined to give her name, spoke of how much Pasko meant to the entire IGA crew. "He's like a brother," she said. "He's family."

Susan Fisher worked at IGA from 2011 until 2018. "Stanley (Stanislaw) Pasko was welcoming and kind to me right from the start," she said, adding that his wife is also "one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. Stanley has an incredible work ethic and is always moving."

Along with his love for marathons, Fisher said, Stanley and his wife are also active members of Our Lady of Ostrabrama Church in Cutchogue. I enjoyed working with him and his hugs. I think he became a local, loved treasure and will miss him and Donna. He'll be missed by many," she said.

Susan Tyler, who has looked forward to seeing Pasko's smiling face on her many visits to the IGA, echoed the sentiment in so many hearts as they prepared to say farewell to a veritable Southold institution: "I'm crying already," she said.