Town Gathers As Beloved LI Teen Laid To Rest: 'Dylan Was A Light'

SOUTHOLD, NY — The crowd filed in quietly, tears streaming down their faces as they filled First Presbyterian Church of Southold to capacity and spilled into an overflow room. All gathered in sorrow to say goodbye to 18-year-old Dylan Newman, who died last Tuesday after a fierce battle with a rare cancer.

But despite the sadness, there were touches of the joy that infused Dylan's life — everywhere, there was green, a nod to his love for the color. Green sneakers. Green ties. Green ribbons and green clothing. And also, the green wristbands adorned with the words "Team Dylan" that have graced so many, many fundraisers for a young man an entire town loved as their own.

Dylan was laid to rest Tuesday, and together, all of Southold Town mourned. Town Hall itself was illuminated in green Monday night, an unprecedented act to honor a boy who brought a community together in caring.

"Like so many others, we wanted to show the family how much Dylan meant to this community," Southold Town Supervisor Scott Russell said.

At the front of the church was a screen, set up before the service began, with photos of Dylan from moments throughout his life, playing sports, enjoying barbecues, surrounded by family and friends — and smiling, always smiling.

The service, led by Rev. Dr. Peter Kelley, was somber but also filled with joyful memories and laughter as his friends and loved ones told stories about a young man known for his bright and ever-present positivity, his courage, his indomitable spirit, his love for others, and his passion for sports — including baseball and basketball.

Bagpipers played as Dylan's family entered the church and hymns including "How Great Thou Art," and "On Eagle's Wings" soothed heavy hearts. The final hymn, "You Are Mine," spoke to sorrow and hope: "I will come to you in the silence, I will lift you from all your fear. You will hear my voice. I claim you as my choice, be still and know that I am here. Do not be afraid. I am with you."

Rev. Kelley spoke to those gathered about the outpouring of love from the community for Dylan and his family, including his parents Todd and Tanya and sister Kelsey, after their boy was diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma four years ago. He was just 14 years old when they got the news.

The community response, he said, was an incredible display of support and steadfast devotion.

That love, he said, will live forever. "Dylan was a light," he said. And, he said to those listening, Dylan's light burns brightly in the many he touched. "You are the light of the world," he said. "It's not going out."

Rev. Kelley described the many, many prayers. "Your prayers flew straight to the heart of God," he said.

Close family friend Nancy Maaiki also spoke, describing Dylan as a "hero, a warrior, a superman," with bright eyes and a smile that lit up every room.

A single boy, she said, brought thousands together — an entire community, from family and friends to complete strangers. "Dylan did the impossible," she said. "He brought together people from all walks of life."

The huge effort to help him, the sea of fundraisers, the parade and baseball games and the many green lights and cars with messages to Dylan, all of it, she said, "became something unimaginable. "Dylan gave his heart to all of you — and you gave it back," she said.

Dylan's friends also spoke, including Connor Wilinski and Tom Cardi; some sent written messages. All spoke of his love for baseball, for being a part of a team. They talked about bonding over a sport and forging eternal friendships. Dylan was caring and selfless, Wilinski said. He will be forever thankful that he was there to say the final good-bye to his friend last Tuesday, that his lifelong friend held on . . .the greatest gift, he said, that he's ever been given.

His friends spoke of hibachi nights and beach days, the day Dylan threw the first pitch at a Mets game, corn hole and Sunday night football, rides on golf carts and dock diving, fishing and laughter. . .so much laughter. Dylan, they said, was known for his quick wit and whispered comments that could bring tears of mirth. But always, they said, he was kind, leading with compassion and raising the bar for everyone he knew.

When you were having a bad day, they said, Dylan would always ask how you were, even though you knew his day had undoubtedly been worse. Because that was the kind of person Dylan was.

"Live like Dylan," Maaiki said, a familiar refrain amongst the many whose lives he's touched. Maaiki spoke to Kelsey, Dylan's sister, urging her to live the life her brother would have wanted. She also read a poem, "The Last Game," to Dylan.

Dylan's father Todd Newman thanked the many who had wrapped his son and his family in their arms and raised them up with love. He thanked the friends, close as brothers, who have stood by his son's side, "generals" in the battle.

He spoke to his daughter Kelsey, who was tireless in her devotion to her brother, going out for ice cream in the middle of the night, doing anything, everything, always, to care for him. So proud he was, he said, that he was going to "embarrass her," asking those gathered to give Kelsey a round of applause.

His words infused with humor — the only way, he said, he could get through the unspeakably hard task of speaking at his son's funeral — he spoke of the day his wife and son, who was sick and unable to head off to college, went to get a dog. That dog, Jag, became family, and all Dylan wanted was to care for him. Dylan had so many dreams, he said — so many things his boy wanted to do.

But despite the grief, thick and heavy in the church as family and loved ones, as well as young men and women, Dylan's friends, too young to know such sadness, cried, their arms wrapped around one another for comfort — there was joy. Joy in knowing that Dylan, their hero #5, had left a forever legacy.

And that he had brought a veritable army, Team Dylan, together forever.

"It takes a team," Todd said. "And we had the team of all teams."

While his son's battle may be over, the war continues, Todd said.

His family has asked that, in lieu of flowers, support be pledged to a fund that will be established in memory of Dylan, which will provide scholarships to local high school seniors in Dylan's name.

The fund will also support research on Ewing Sarcoma, the rare type of cancer that Dylan faced.

Those who wish to donate can send a statement of the desire to pledge, including the amount and contact information, to Dylan Newman Forever 5, at 485 Gardiners Lane, Southold, NY 11971, or email DylanNewmanForever5@gmail.com. After the fund is established, information will be shared on how to donate.

As the many who loved him mourn, tributes to Dylan are a testament to the deep bonds he shared with family, friends, teachers, classmates, teammates, and even people he'd never met.

At the vigil held for Dylan Sunday, his father also spoke, remembering April 26, 2018, the day his family learned that Dylan had a tumor on his hip. Hundreds turned out for the first fundraiser, a "Dash for Dylan," at Southold High School, soon after.

"I ended what I had to say that day with, 'We have an army behind us,'" he said. "And this army is still strong."

Newman thanked the community for the years of caring, and for surrounding his family with love this past week. Smiling, he said, "I had no idea how much of a goofball my son was until the other night, with all the girls and boys at the house telling stories." The crowd laughed through their tears.

Tears flowing, the crowd then walked the bases, a "final lap," for Dylan. The Newmans gathered together on home plate, for their boy. They then went to stand by the fence, before Dylan's photo and balloons with the number 5 — as the procession around the bases continued steadily, the green lights illuminating the night with love.

"Between rainbows and comets, you felt the love for a Southold graduate gone too soon," said Tonya Witczak, who brought her daughters to the vigil. "Live like Dylan."

As he faced the crowd in church Tuesday, Todd added: "We will mourn him for a little while — but we will celebrate him for the rest of our lives."